A special patient
by JuleWhatev
Summary: The first time Esme meets Carlisle in 1911... What will happen in these few days young Esme spend in the hospital? How will she affect the so controlled doctor? Please R&R! SEQUEL IS UP: A special world, check it out!
1. Chapter 1

_**A special patient**_

_**Just a short story of Carlisle and Esme meeting fort **__**the first time in 1911 in Columbus, when he sets her leg… How will the young girl affect the so controlled doctor?...**_

_**CHAPTER 1: **__**effects of tree climbing – Carlisle's POV**_

_I looked outside the window of my office and noticed that the sky was __dark. My shift was about to begin. The night shifts were usually not very popular with the other doctors but I always worked the nighttimes. I had nothing else to do because I couldn't sleep and in the nights I also did not need to fear the sun coming out. _

"_Dr Cullen?" Someone knocked on my office door. "Yes?" I said politely. A nurse opened the door: "Dr Cullen, there's a patient for you. A broken leg, the girl is only sixteen, may you look for her?" I stood up from my chair and smiled happily. "Of course." I answered. The nurse handed me the file and I suppressed a chuckle, when I heard her heartbeat quicken as I smiled again. I knew that the whole female staffs were in love with me. But I was not interested in anyone and it would also be impossible. I was just destined to spent eternity alone. A sigh escaped my lips and I quickly distracted myself from such sad thoughts by looking at the file. _Esme Platt; 16; a broken leg _so nothing too serious. I had reached the examination room and opened the door. _

_I was not in the slightest prepared to what was awaiting me there. A__n almost irresistible smell reached my nose and my throat burned. Wildflowers and lavender. I stood rooted to the spot and gazed into the room. A girl, no a young woman, was sitting on the desk. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Her heart shaped face was framed by caramel curls, her body was lithe and slim, she had chocolate brown eyes which were now red rimmed from the tears she must have cried. _

"_Ah, __Doctor." A woman who I had not noticed until now stood up and came to shake my hand. I noticed that I was staring and quickly looked away from the young woman. It took me a moment to regain my self control but then I shook the older woman's hand. She flinched away from my ice-cold skin. "Yes, I'm Dr Cullen, it's a pleasure to meet you." I said. "Thank you. My name is Platt and this is my daughter…" the older woman gestured towards my patient. I moved over to the young woman. "Nice to meet you." I said and held out my hand. "Pleasure." She said lowly and took my hand. Unlike her mother she did not seemed bothered by my touch. "So then, Ms Platt, I will have a look at your leg." I said gently. Her mother nodded. "I will leave then." She went for the door and shut it quietly behind her. The girl sighed. "What is it?" I asked. Alarmed by her sad expression. "Are you in pain?" _What a stupid question Carlisle! Of course she is in pain! She has a broken leg! _The young woman just smiled weakly again and shook her head. "Nothing Dr" She said quickly. "May I ask how that happened, Ms Platt?" Immediately she blushed and averted my curious gaze. "It will only sound silly… it was no proper behaviour for a lady…" She murmured. I chuckled. "Well, I won't tell anybody." I said and winked. "But it may help me to understand your injury better." "Oh, well, I… I was climbing a tree…" she admitted with a quick glance at me. When I did not react in any way she went on babbling. "You know, I enjoy reading up there, it is so peaceful and quiet and I love to hear the birds sing in the branches. When I was up on my favourite branch I opened my book and started reading. That's when my mother found me. She yelled at me, startled me and I slipped. I am not supposed to behave like that and I am also not supposed to read… I said it would sound silly…" She ended lamely. I gave her a reassuring smile. "It did not. I like reading, too and I love climbing trees and being in the forest and it is also not considered as a proper behaviour for a doctor." I winked. For the first time she smiled shyly and I was simply stunned by it. _

"_So Ms Platt, may I examine your leg now?" I asked__ careful. "Esme…" She said. I looked up. "You can call me Esme." She explained. I flashed her a smile. "Only if you call me Carlisle." I added. "Carlisle." She let my name roll of her tongue. "Well, Esme…" – _What a beautiful name!_ "…I will examine your leg to find out where exactly it is broken. But perhaps you can help me. Does it hurt worse in a particular place?" Esme shook her head. "It is like my leg is on fire. I can't tell you where it is worst. Sorry." "No, it is okay." My cold hands touched her leg. Esme sighed lowly. I pulled my hands away. I knew that my cold skin was uncomfortable for most of my patients. "Sorry, poor circulation." I murmured to explain the coldness. "No, it is okay... honestly, it felt good… my leg hurts so much…" She admitted. Without thinking twice about it I put my hand on her calf again. Then I gently felt for the break. I let my fingers wander over her soft skin, concentrating very hard on her reaction. I did not want to cause her pain. Suddenly Esme winced. "Sorry." I apologized and looked up. She had her lips pressed hard together and a single tear was streaming down her face. It was only then that I noticed she had not cried until now, though she must be in terrible pain. "You are really brave." I told her and wiped the tear away. "I have seen many patients, even men, cry at an injury like yours." A soft blush reddened her cheeks and she looked away. God, she was so beautiful when she did this. "Have you found the break?" She asked probably afraid of more painful examinations. "I did, but I have to set your leg. This will be painful, though I try to be as gentle as possible. Just tell me, when it is too bad, alright Esme?" She nodded with determined expression. "Okay, just do it." I felt really bad about what I was going to do. It would hurt to set her leg. "Do you want any painkillers now?" Esme shook her head. "No, it is alright, it is not this bad…" She said. I nodded and felt again for the break, then with a fast movement of my hand I let snap the bone back in place. Esme whimpered. "Sorry." I told her. "I know you can't do anything against it…" she whispered. I felt sorry for causing her pain, even necessary pain. "I will give you something against the pain…" I murmured and stood up. "It is okay, really… it doesn't hurt so bad…" I had to admit that she was driving me crazy. She was so brave and did not want to be the centre of attention. I touched her leg again to make sure everything was okay. _Or just because you want to touch her… _Esme sighed again, so low that a normal man would not have heard it, but I did. "You are really okay?" I asked again. "Yes… as I said, your hands… the coldness is good…" I rested my hands on her leg to cool it. Her skin was hot. I knew that what I did right now was no proper behaviour but it was hard to resist her. My hands rested on her soft skin for some minutes, before I pulled reluctantly away. "Okay, now I will put your leg in a splint because we cannot put it in a cast before the swelling is gone, which will hopefully be tomorrow. I fear you will have to stay in the hospital for a few days." I told her. Esme nodded. "Is it alright if I let your mother back in, Esme?" She looked up at me. "Yes, why do you ask?" She wanted to know. "I… well, I just had the impression that your mother is really upset about your injury…" I told her sheepishly. I guessed this from the way she behaved now, without her mother in the room, more confident and just natural. "Oh, yes, she is not happy." Esme told me. I heard more in her words that she did tell me. "What is it?" I demanded softly and kneeled in front of her. Esme hesitated. "My mother is upset… about my broken leg… she, she hates it, if I don't behave like I should but I hate all the things she wants me to do, sewing, dancing, cooking… I am never allowed to do what I like…" Esme finished and put on a mask to hide her emotions. I felt the urge to pull her in my arms and comfort her. _Does her mother not think that a broken leg is enough! Her daughter is in pain and crying and she just scolds her! _"I will talk to her." I said smiling. "Make her see that you did nothing wrong." Esme looked at me. "You would do that, Dr…" "Esme…" I interrupted. "Sorry, Carlisle…" She corrected. My name sounded so beautiful when she said it, all the syllables rolling of her tongue like she was destined to speak my name. I got up and opened the door to the hallway. "Mrs Platt, may I have a word with you?" I asked. The woman got up and nodded. I led her to a room nearby and held the door open for her. "Take a seat, please." She sat down and I sat opposite her. _

_It was not easy to talk to Esmes mother. __I had never thought it would be, but it was even more difficult than I had imagined. She was really stubborn and always insisted that it was her daughter's fault. I told her that Esme was in enough pain and that it was a mere accident. But Mrs Platt still thought ill of her daughter. I told her that I had the impression her daughter was quite mature. This seemed to calm her a little. _

_Afterwards __I returned to Esme, her mother behind me. "Mother." Esme said surprised and unsure. I smiled at her. "Esme, you will have to stay in the hospital for some days and I will return to the farm now…" I wanted to stay and listen to their conversation but it was really impolite and so I excused myself. "Excuse me, please, I have to prepare everything for the splint…" I left the room and closed the door behind me. _

_I tried really hard not to listen to the conversation between Esme and her mother. __I went to get the bandages and everything I would need. When I returned to the examination room Esme was waiting for him. Her mother was gone. I was a bit puzzled by this. Had she just left her daughter here alone? Without caring that Esme may be frightened and lonely? I thought it rather impolite and cold for a mother. She should comfort her daughter! "There you are!" Esme said when I entered the room. She looked delighted. "Yes, I had to get some things first." I told her while I motioned to sit in front of her again. "Okay Esme, I will now put a splint on your leg. That may hurt, but I try to be very careful and you tell me, if it becomes painful?" "I will." She promised bravely. I really was taken aback by her courage. Only a single tear had escaped her eyes in my presence. She really tried to be strong. I arranged the splint and the bandages on a table next to her and reached for the splint first. I carefully set it around her leg, slowly, trying not to hurt her in the tiniest way. Then I grabbed a bandage and explained: "The bandages have to be really tight so it may be uncomfortable." Esme nodded, she looked a little bit afraid. I flashed her a soft smile and murmured: "Press my hand, if it makes you feel better…" _Damn! Carlisle What are you talking about? She - holding your hand? Are you mad? _I was mad. Mad with delight, as Esme took my ice cold hand in hers and held it tight. A sudden jittering exploded in my stomach. I focused back on the splint and the task before me and worked on her leg. Esmes did not let go of my hand except when I needed it and sometimes pressed a little harder when I had hurt her somehow. I really did not notice it, but my thumb had mechanically started rubbing circles on the back of her hand. _

"_Well then, __I think you are finished, Esme." I told her smiling. She let go of my hand and tried a smile. This time it was real. Her eyes sparkled a little and a soft blush covered her cheeks. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. "Thank you, Carlisle." I grinned. "Come on then, it is late and you should rest now. I will take you to a room but I will get a wheelchair first." I said. Esme grinned sarcastically. "Okay, I will just wait here, I guess." I chuckled as I left the room. _

"_May I have the pleasure to escort you now to your room, my lady?" I asked as I put the wheelchair next to the table on which Esme was sitting. She laughed lowly and it sounded clear and careless. "You may." She said and batted me an eyelash. Normally I would have flinched away from every form of flirting but with her it was so innocent and natural I could not. I really must have lost my mind flirting with a 16-year-old girl! Esme tried to sit up more straight and probably wanted to get in the chair herself but I would not let her. "Let me." I begged and scooped her up in my arms before sitting her carefully down in the wheelchair. She did not seem bothered by my closeness neither by my cold and hard body. I wheeled her out into the hallway and in a hospital room. A nurse followed me. "Dr Cullen, you don't need to bother with this. You could have called a nurse." She said. I quickly shook my head. "It is alright. I really don't bother and there is no other patient, is there?" I asked. The truth was that even if there would have been another patient I would have taken Esme to the room by myself. But I would never admit it. _

_When I had closed the door behind my back and wheeled Esme next to the bed I lifted her up again to __sit her down onto the bed. It was just then that a thought struck me: She would have to change into a nightgown or something and she needed help. At least now I would need a nurse. I could never do this. I smiled to hide my horrified expression. "I will get a nurse to help you change. And because I know you won't take any painkillers I suggest some ice?" Esme nodded at me. "Yes, thank you." "You're welcome." I told her and left the room. _

_I got the ice and was about to just open Esme's door when I came back to my senses and knocked. "Come in." her soft voice called. Esme was sitting in bed, now wearing a white nightgown. Maybe it was my imagination but when she saw me her eyes glinted happily. "I got the ice." I explained. "Thank you.__" She said again as I placed the ice-bag on her leg. She leant back in the pillow and closed her eyes. "Better?" "Much better." She whispered. I smiled. "Well, try to sleep now. If you need anything else just call the nurses and ask for me, but believe me, sleep is the best medicine you can get now." Esme nodded and suppressed a yawn. I stood next to her bed for a moment before I whispered "Good night" and left the room. Silently closing the door behind me. _

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	2. Chapter 2

_ **Hello, here's chapter 2! What was Esme's impression on the doctor? What was she thinking? Read and find out!**_

**_Disclaimer: (Sorry, I forgot the Disclaimer in the first chapter) Well, of course I own nothing of this, everything belongs to SM, I only borrow the characters..._**

_Just to let you know, English is not my mother-tongue so I am really sorry if there are mistakes in it..._

_**CHAPTER 2: Fallen into**__** heaven – Esme's POV**_

_The__ pain in my leg was beyond imagination. It felt like the bone was not only broken but splintered in thousands of tiny pieces. I could feel every small stone or hole under the wheels of our cart. My mother was scolding me for not behaving like a lady but the words did not make it to my mind. I couldn't concentrate on anything else than the terrible pain. Tears were streaming down my face but I tried to stop crying. I was no little child and it was my own stupid fault I had a broken leg now. Another pothole made me whimper. My mother just snorted and said in her high stern voice: "I hope that experience will teach you how improper your action was!" Hopefully, the hospital was not far away anymore. _

_A big red brick building came into view. I saw people in white coats walking around. The hospital! The cart stopped in front of the building and my mother got out. She held her hand out for me and I clambered out of the cart. Every movement send waves of pain through my right leg and I winced. I bit my lip too stubborn to show in how much pain I really was. I stumbled along with my mother helping me. As soon as we reached the entrance hall a nurse rushed forward. "Oh please, let me help you. I get a wheelchair." She grabbed the vehicle and rolled it towards me and my mother. I gladly smiled at the nurse when she helped me into the chair. "Thank you." I murmured. My mother nodded at the nurse. "My name is Platt and my daughter here; I think her leg is broken." The nurse nodded. "Yes, I see. Please, follow me into the examination room, I will get the doctor." She took my wheelchair and wheeled me into a room on the right side. My mother followed me in. "Please, take a seat Mrs Platt." The nurse said. While my mother sat down the nurse helped me to get out of the chair and onto the examination table. "Just a minute, the doctor will take care of you immediately. Excuse me please." She left the room again and I bit my lip to keep the sobs from escaping my lips. I would not cry anymore. _

_We waited in silence. The tears on my cheeks dried slowly. After about two minutes the door opened and a man stepped inside. No, not a man, a god, an angel. He was tall and lithe, had pale skin, fair golden hair and his f__ace was that of a Greek statue. I thought he could not be older than 25, probably younger. I felt my heart pace quicken. For a second he hesitated in the doorway. My mother got up and went over to greet him. She passed me and gave me a nudge in the side. It was not until then that I realized I must have been staring at him. "Ah, Doctor." She held out her hand and he shook it. I noticed that my mother flinched a little at the touch. "Yes, I'm Dr Cullen, it's a pleasure to meet you." He said with the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. Clear like a bell or water trickling over some stones. "Thank you. My name is Platt and this is my daughter…" my mother said and waved over towards me as if I was not in the least important. But the doctor came over to me and smiled. I was so stunned that I had difficulties understanding the words as he greeted me. "Nice to meet you." He said and flashed me a dazzling smile. "Pleasure." I managed to choke out as I took his hand. It was cold but not uncomfortable. "So then, Ms Platt, I will have a look at your leg." He told me gently. My mother looked at him and excused herself. "I will leave then." She said and was gone. Before I could help it a sigh escaped my lips. "What is it? Are you in pain?" The doctor asked me, concern in his voice. "Nothing Dr" I lied quickly. He shot me another worried look but said nothing more. I had the crazy feeling that he had guessed something. "May I ask how that happened, Ms Platt?" he asked. I blushed and did not meet his eyes, though they were beautiful. Rich butterscotch, like liquid gold. So warm and compassionate. "It will only sound silly… it was no proper behaviour for a lady…" I muttered under my breath. _I cannot tell him. He will think of me as a silly little girl! _Suddenly I was so ashamed of my action. I had not felt that in the presence of my mother. Not in the least. But now, with him. He would only shake his head over such bad behaviour. And, worst of all, he would think badly about me. "Well, I won't tell anybody." He answered lightly and winked at me. I believed him, even if I didn't know why. He had a look of mischief in his eyes now, which I actually liked. "But it may help me to understand your injury better." He said, back in his doctor-self. I felt a tiny sting of disappointment for thinking he would be really interested in me. But it was only because it helped him with the examination. _Well, Esme, you have been really foolish. He cares for everyone, that's his job. He does this to everyone – you're not special! _I took a deep breath and started talking. "Oh, well, I… I was climbing a tree…" I quickly looked up at him but as he did not react, I continued to explain more. "You know, I enjoy reading up there, it is so peaceful and quiet and I love to hear the birds sing in the branches. When I was up on my favourite branch I opened my book and started reading. That's when my mother found me. She yelled at me, startled me and I slipped. I am not supposed to behave like that and I am also not supposed to read… I said it would sound silly…" I ended unsure and a little afraid of his reaction. I felt myself blush again. What was wrong with me? I saw him smiling reassuring at me. "It did not. I like reading, too and I love climbing trees and being in the forest and it is also not considered as a proper behaviour for a doctor." He winked again and I had to smile at the imagination of him climbing a tree. _

_A second later he was again back in his task. __"So Ms Platt, may I examine your leg now?" he asked me. "Esme…" my lips blurted out before I could think it over. He looked away from my leg and back into my eyes. "You can call me Esme." I explained shy. I knew that offering him to call me by my first name was even more improper than climbing trees but I didn't really care. I did not think he would react as any other man. I had a feeling that he was different. My inklings were right as I was rewarded with another dazzling smile from him. "Only if you call me Carlisle." He said then. I stared at him. Did he really just tell me his first name? "Carlisle." I tried the syllables. It sounded nice, strange, but really nice and it fit him. "Well, Esme I will examine your leg to find out where exactly it is broken. But perhaps you can help me. Does it hurt worse in a particular place?" he asked me. I liked the way he pronounced my name and for a second I was marvelling at it, then I sadly shook my head. "It is like my leg is on fire. I can't tell you where it is worst. Sorry." I whispered. I really would like to help him, but my leg was just hurting to much. From my toes up to my thigh it hurt. A throbbing pain which made me think it may be broken all the way. But Carlisle – _I really liked his name – _smiled warmly and comforted me immediately. He was just so perfect. "No, it is okay." He told me and touched my leg carefully with his fingers. His fingers were like ice. But it did not feel bad on my skin. It had not when I shook his hand and it wasn't now. Actually, it felt really good. The throbbing pain in my leg was crucial but his cold touch eased it. I sighed and in a flash his hands were gone. Obviously he had misinterpreted the sound from my lips because he immediately apologized. "Sorry, poor circulation." He whispered under his breath. It sounded a bit sad, as if he really regretted that his hands were not warm. "No, it is okay... honestly, it felt good… my leg hurts so much…" I told him quickly. He looked unbelievingly at me. Then, his hands were back on my leg. Cold but soft and gentle, a feather-light touch. My heart quickened again, though it was already beating twice as fast as usual since he had entered the room. His hands moved up my calf, softly pressing onto the skin, feeling for the break. The coldness of his touch was really comfortable. Then his fingers hit a vulnerable spot and though his touch was soft and gentle, I winced. Another jolt of pain shot through me. I bit my lip not to cry. A single tear escaped my eye and flowed down my cheek. "Sorry." He said and his hands left my skin. "You are really brave. I have seen many patients, even men, cry at an injury like yours." He told me and reached for my face. His cool fingers swept over my face and wiped the tear away. The tiny gesture had something really comforting and I also like him touching me. I blushed. I should not think this. His compliment flattered me and I looked away. Before I could think of him in even more inappropriate ways I asked: "Have you found the break?" I hoped he had. The idea of more examinations was not very pleasing, even his touch could not make up for the excruciating pain which seemed to have increased when he touched the break. He nodded but his expression was not a happy one. I was puzzled. Wasn't it good that he knew where my leg was broken? "I did, but I have to set your leg. This will be painful, though I try to be as gentle as possible. Just tell me, when it is too bad, alright Esme?" Carlisle looked up into my eyes. I could see how much he hated the idea of causing his patients pain. I clenched my jaw. I would not make this harder for him by crying and moaning. "Okay, just do it." I told him with my most determined voice, though I could not ban the fear completely. I nodded at him. Carlisle held my gaze for a second, as if he wanted to look behind my mask. His golden eyes bored deep into mine and I felt like I was seen through. "Do you want any painkillers now?" he asked. My mask must have been not as good as I wanted it to be. Either that or he was just again inhumanly caring and compassionate. I knew that what he had to do now would hurt even more but I didn't want some pills to blur my vision of him. I wanted to memorize everything about him. It was childish and silly but I felt like I was special. Like he _really_ cared for me, like he really wanted to comfort me. _Oh come on, he is a doctor! He is just doing his job! When you're done he will move on to another patient and do exactly the same! _But I did not want him to move on. I wanted to talk to him, to feel his touch again. "No, it is alright, it is not this bad…" I told him again, hoping he would just get over with it. Carlisle nodded. He put his hands on my leg, touched the break and with a quick movement and a sickening, cracking sound my bone snapped back in its original place. It felt like the bone was broken again. A hot fire raged inside my leg, blood throbbing through my veins, increasing the agony. But I did not cry. I'd rather bit my tongue off. Only a tiny whimper left my mouth. "Sorry." He said lowly and he really sounded pained. When I looked in his face I saw my pain written on it and felt the strange urge to comfort _him_. "I know you can't do anything against it…" I whispered. He smiled crooked. I could see in his eyes that even that knowledge didn't make the situation any better. His lips were curled up a little. It looked like he was about to laugh at the thought of me, his patient, telling him I was okay. "I will give you something against the pain…" Carlisle said and stood up. I violently shook my head. I did not need painkillers. Well, I probably needed them, but I was determined not to take any. "It is okay, really… it doesn't hurt so bad…" I repeated. Carlisle hesitated as if he was questioning my sanity but then he slowly sat down. He touched my leg again. His cool palm rested on my calf and I felt the pain decrease a little. This was far better than any painkiller he could give me. I sighed lowly. Even if it was wrong I would just enjoy every second with him and imagine that he was doing a bit more than his job here. "You are really okay?" His voice sounded concerned. He obviously misinterpreted the sigh. It was not out of pain, but pleasure. "Yes… as I said, your hands… the coldness is good…" I murmured a bit shy. With a soft smile he put his other hand on my leg, too. I did not move. He neither. His hands just rested on my calf and eased the throbbing pain. We did not speak but after some minutes he pulled his hands away. "Okay, now I will put your leg in a splint because we cannot put it in a cast before the swelling is gone, which will hopefully be tomorrow. I fear you will have to stay in the hospital for a few days." He told me. I did not mind staying in the hospital, as long as he was here, but I could not tell him this and because I did not really trust my tongue on that matter I simply nodded. "Is it alright if I let your mother back in, Esme?" Carlisle asked me. I looked up at him. I had already noticed that he was a very sensitive man but could he have guessed so much? "Yes, why do you ask?" I wanted him to believe everything was okay and tried to let my voice sound puzzled. Suddenly Carlisle seemed a little unsure and started to explain: "I… well, I just had the impression that your mother is really upset about your injury…" he said but the unspoken words still hang in the air. He surely had seen how my mother behaved. Did he also think it cold and emotionless, like I did often? "Oh, yes, she is not happy." I admitted so low it was almost a whisper. I swallowed hard. So fast that I could hardly see him move Carlisle was at my side, kneeling in front of me. "What is it?" he wanted to know. His golden eyes sparkled dim. I hesitated. I was no one who wanted pity. But something in his gaze told me that Carlisle asked not out of pity. He asked because he was interested in me. I had never met anyone who cared for her the way he did, though I had only known him for a few minutes, he was more honest than anyone else, more gentle, more compassionate. Oh god, I really had already a crush on this beautiful young doctor! I swallowed again and answered: "My mother is upset… about my broken leg… she, she hates it, if I don't behave like I should but I hate all the things she wants me to do, sewing, dancing, cooking… I am never allowed to do what I like…" I forced my face into a neutral mask but as it seemed I could not fool him. Carlisle clenched his jaw tightly together and for a split-second I thought he wanted to embrace me, but then he stood up and smiled warmly at me. "I will talk to her. Make her see that you did nothing wrong." Carlisle promised. I looked up at him, hopeful but also stunned. I had not expected this. "You would do that, Dr…" I was about to call him __ʽ__doctor' again, when he interrupted me. "Esme…" "Sorry, Carlisle…" I corrected smiling. He also smiled and winked before he left the room. I could hear him talk to my mother. Then the steps of two persons disappeared and a door was closed. I only sat there, waiting, wondering. _

_After a few minutes the door opened again and Carlisle came back. My mother followed behind him. __"Mother." I said really surprised that she was there. "Esme, you will have to stay in the hospital for some days and I will return to the farm now…" She told me. I nodded. I haven't dared to hope she may stay with me. Though she was always cold and distant to me I would have felt less lonely. Carlisle would go and I would never see him again. The mere thought made me sad. "Excuse me, please, I have to prepare everything for the splint…" Carlisle said and left the room. I knew he wanted to give us privacy. _

_My mother looked at me. "Well, good night then, Esme." My mother said. "Your father and I will probably not be able to visit you. The farm is far away and the journey takes t__oo much time. We have work to do…" I nodded. "Yes mother." I said. She shot me one last stern look then she left. I sighed and covered my face with my hands. _

_Then the door opened and Carlisle stepped back inside. His appearance b__rightened the room and my mood. "There you are!" I said happily. He looked around the room to find out where my mother was. When he realised she must be gone he shook his head. "Yes, I had to get some things first." He said. I noticed the splint and the bandages he was carrying. He sat in front of me again. "Okay Esme, I will now put a splint on your leg. That may hurt, but I try to be very careful and you tell me, if it becomes painful?" he said to me. I nodded. "I will." I promised. Carlisle smiled at me. He arranged the bandages on a small table. The he reached for the splint and placed it very carefully around my leg. "The bandages have to be really tight so it may be uncomfortable." He explained while he took a bandage in his hands. I was a little afraid. The pain had just decreased a little and I didn't want it to become worse again. "Press my hand, if it makes you feel better…" Carlisle said when he noticed my expression. I shyly reached for it and then took it. It was still cold and hard, like sculptured of marble but also very soft. I saw that Carlisle started to bandage my leg but my mind was somewhere else. His thumb was stroking the back of my hand. His touch sent a current through my body. I hardly noticed the time passing but after a while Carlisle sat up back straight. "Well then, I think you are finished, Esme." I smiled at him and felt myself blush at the same time. I let go of his hand. "Thank you, Carlisle." I murmured. "Come on then, it is late and you should rest now. I will take you to a room but I will get a wheelchair first." Carlisle said. "Okay, I will just wait here, I guess." Carlisle chuckled at my sarcasm and my heart skipped some beats at the sound. Then he left and returned only a moment later pushing a wheelchair in front of him. "May I have the pleasure to escort you now to your room, my lady?" He asked when he put the vehicle next to the examination table. I laughed. His eyes twinkled. He acted like a gentleman from a different century. "You may." I answered him and looked up at him through my lashes. _Oh god, what are you doing Esme? Flirting with him! _I tried to sit up straight and move close to the edge of the table but Carlisle stopped me. "Let me." He said and before I could answer he had me scooped up into his arms. He lifted me up effortless and sat me down in the chair. His body was hard and cold. I could feel it through his shirt. I had never been close to a man before but it did not feel uncomfortable. Even though his body was strangely cold. There was something inhuman about him. He was too perfect to be human. He wheeled me out into the hallway. A nurse came around the corner and wanted to take my wheelchair out of Carlisles hands. "Dr Cullen, you don't need to bother with this. You could have called a nurse." She said. I smiled when I realised that this was really not one of his tasks. He could have left me but he did not. "It is alright. I really don't bother and there is no other patient, is there?" Carlisles answer made me beam. He rolled me into a hospital room next to the bed. Then he lifted me up again and sat me down on the mattress. His smile suddenly disappeared and he stepped away. He looked sheepish down at me before he murmured: "I will get a nurse to help you change. And because I know you won't take any painkillers I suggest some ice?" he said. I nodded and tried to hide my blush. "Yes, thank you." I said. "You're welcome." Carlisle told me and left the room. _

_A nurse came in. She smiled warmly. "Hello, my name is Abigail. __Dr Cullen asked me to help you." I nodded. She helped me change in a nightgown and covered me carefully with the blanket. I thanked her. A minute after she had left someone knocked at my door. "Come in." I called. It was Carlisle. "I got the ice." He explained and held up a blue bag. I smiled. He came over to my bed and placed the ice bag on my leg. "Better?" he asked when I leant back in the pillows and closed my eyes. "Much better." I told him. "Well, try to sleep now. If you need anything else just call the nurses and ask for me, but believe me, sleep is the best medicine you can get now." Carlisle said with a soft smile. I nodded and suppressed a yawn. Carlisle stayed at my bedside for a moment before I heard him whisper "Good night". Then he left the room. I sighed in the darkness. My angel was gone… _

**What do you think? Please leave a review, 'cause I'm a curious person! xD (even if's a bad one...) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Another chapter for you... Have fun reading it... it's night at the hospital... what will happen? **

_**CHAPTER 3 – **__**Irresistible – Carlisle's POV**_

_I heard Esme sig__h in the darkness of the room. My fingers gripped the handle tight and I was fighting the urge to get back inside to her. I could not. I must not. I turned away from her door. Luckily another patient had just gotten in and I had a distraction… but not such a fascinating one as Esme. _

_After I had taken care of the patient there was not much left do to. Of course I could do some paperwork but I didn't really want to and so I just walked along the corridor. The hospital was very calm at night. __I liked this. Not because I had nothing to do but because this meant that less people were ill. I passed Esmes door again and stopped to listen to her sleeping. Her breath was steady and calm. I smiled. I imagined her lying in the bed, her toffee coloured curls laying across the pillow, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted in her dreams. I wanted to see this. I wanted to know how she looked like. Before I had realised it, my hands hold the handle and I opened the door. _

_The room was dark but __I could see everything. Esme was asleep; she had a peaceful expression on her face. Her lips were curled up in a soft smile. To have something to do and calm my bad conscious that I was spying on that young woman, I checked on her leg. The ice was melted and the water inside the bag hardly cooled her anymore. I thought about the idea to get some more ice, but decided against it. What if she would wake up when I placed it on her leg? I took one step back and watched Esme. I should leave but something drew me to her like a magnet. _

_Esme turned __in her sleep but stopped when her leg probably protested with pain. I heard the whimper that escaped her lips. In an instant I was next to her. My hand lay on the side of her face before I had realised it. She sighed again. _Of course! My hands are icy! I will wake her up! _But Esme did not wake up. She slept on. I did not know if it was my imagination but her breath seemed to be even calmer than before. Now that I had started touching her I did not know how to end it. Her skin was soft and warm. _

_I thought about when I had taken care of her leg. She had said nothing about my cold hands, nothing bad. She liked them. I smiled. My hand stroked her face __and I tugged the blanket higher over her shoulders. She should not freeze. Esme sighed in her sleep. I pulled my hand away and leaned against the wall. The hospital was completely silent and no one would notice me here. _

_I spent half of the night watching Esme in her sleep. The way her forehead furrowed when she dreamed. What would I give for knowing what was on her mind now! _

_When it dawned and my shift came to an end I had to leave. I stroked her face in goodbye, then I got into my office to take my coat and went home. _

_When I opened the door the sun just crept over the horizon. I got inside and went into my study. It was my favourite room because I had nothing to fake here. Bookshelves stood at the walls, a comfy armchair stood next to the window behind a wooden desk. __I took one of the books from the shelf and sat down in the chair. But my mind didn't want to focus on the letters. It drifted away to a young woman in the hospital. It was dangerous to stay close to her. She affected me more than any human, any creature, had in centuries. Her blood was tempting me but her whole behaviour also appealed to me. She was so innocent and natural, and brave. She did not cry, even when I set her leg only one tear escaped her eyes. I had never met a person like her. And I wanted to get to know her better though I knew how wrong it was. To form relations with humans was always a great risk and I was normally a responsible person but I was lonely. Had been lonely for a long time. I had no friends and no one to talk. My only companions were my books and the only persons I know closer where the doctors and nurses at the hospital. And especially the females were really annoying. _

_Esme was different. Of course I heard her heartbeat accelerating when I was near her but strangely I felt similar. __Of course my heard was frozen and did not beat but I was absolutely sure it would. It was like a connection between us. I loved her honesty, how she told me about climbing trees and reading. She was not a lady but I liked it. She had her own mind. I sighed and put the book aside. It was hopeless to try to concentrate on the text. I glanced at my watch. My next shift would not start for another ten hours. Great! It was crazy to want to see her again and it was dangerous if she know me too well. She could guess some things. It was part of my life to be distant and now I sat here thinking about letting her knowing me! The best thing for both of us would be if I called in sick for the next days until she was gone. But I knew I would not. I was too eager to see her face again. Talk to her. Make her smile. God! I was mad! What I really needed right now was a long run until I could think straight again! But it was sunny outside, so I was stuck here in my study, stuck with my torturing thoughts. I got up and started walking around in the house. After a while I sat down again just to start walking again._

_I was restless. Pacing up and down my study, watching the hours dragging by in a terrible slow pace. My mind screamed at me to go away. To leave her and never turn back. To forget her for her own good and for my own but my heart, my frozen, cold heart yearned for her, for friendship, for being who I am. But I must not. It was dangerous. I had friends,__ only friends of my own kind though, spread across the planet but I did not want to live with them. I only knew one family who lived on the same diet as I did but I couldn't even live with them. I didn't know why. But I couldn't. Maybe I was destined to be alone for eternity._

_The clock ticked and slowly the sky was darkening. As soon as the sun had set I literally jumped into my clothes, took my coat and ran towards the hospital. My shift would not start for another two hours but I wanted to make a quick check-up on a special patient of mine. _Quick! Remember that! You only visit her and then you will excuse yourself and go! _That was what I had been telling me for hours. I would look for her and then take the next days off until I was sure she was gone again. One of my colleagues would take her as their patient and I would never have to see her again. _

_I slowed down to a human pace when I stepped onto the street. It was not far to the hospital. __I could see the red brick building about a quarter of a mile in front of me. No matter what I told myself I wanted to see her again. I walked a little faster…_

**Good? Bad? Please leave a review! I'm so curious... tell me what you think... **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I was really busy with university and now I am ill... I try to update my other story Missing Moments in a few days, but I can't promise anything. Chapter 2 is harder to write than I imagined... Anyway, I hope you keep up with me... **

**Have fun!  
**

_**CHAPTER 4: Back on the earth – Esme's POV**_

_It was early when I woke up. The sun was already in the sky but the light outside was still dim as if it was just sunrise. The throbbing in my leg was back. Of course the ice must be long melted and there was nothing to cool the swelling again. And I rejected painkillers. Painkillers… In a sudden rush all the images from the previous day came back to my mind. The doctor I had met. Carlisle. His soft amber eyes, his tender voice and his gentle hands on my leg. My angel. I smiled and forgot the pain for a moment. __Suddenly I was eager for another examination or check-up. I wanted to see him again, to talk to him, to prove myself I had not dreamed all of that. But… He had packed an ice-bag on my leg… I removed the blanket from my broken leg to look. Nothing. No bag of ice. Was it really just a dream? No. It couldn't be? I won't believe it! I would ask for him. Yes, I would ask for Dr Cullen as soon as someone came to check on me. _

_I looked out of the window and watched the sun climbing slowly higher. It was quiet outside in the corridor. Most of the patients __must be still asleep. I wondered when the nurses would start to check on the patients. I didn't have a watch so I could not tell which time it was. I could only guess and by the sky outside it must be pretty early. I sighed and closed my eyes. The best would be if I went back to sleep. But my leg throbbed painfully and won't let me. I needed something to distract me, a book would be great. Yes, I would like to read something. I had so much time in here and my parents would not visit me because our farm was too far away from the hospital. I doubt that the nurses would hinder me. They were too busy and it was also not their business if I behaved lady-like or not. But all these thoughts were senseless because I missed the most important thing – a book. I sighed. Hopefully the doctors would come soon…_

_I drifted__ away again. I waited for a special doctor. I hoped to see Dr Cullen again. But my mind told her that it was unlikely._

"_Good morning, so, how are we today, Miss Platt? I am Dr Chandler." The door opened and a man stepped inside. I looked up, but my smile faded quickly. The man was probably in his fifties; he had grey hair, a wrinkled face and wore glasses. He had a pot-belly and was about one foot smaller than Carlisle. And his voice was hoarse. The question he just asked me was probably supposed to be funny but I did not laugh. _

"_I am fine." I replied__ simply. "Well, I will look at your leg now and decide if we can put it in a cast…" I nodded, then before I could think it over I asked: "Where's Car-… Dr Cullen?" The old man frowned. _

"_Well, __Dr Cullen worked the night shift, his shift ended 5 o'clock in the morning." I nodded sad. He was not here. This old man was a poor substitute for him. Well, I guess, no one could replace Carlisle in my eyes. Dr Chandler lifted the blanket up so he could see my leg. I disliked him even more. Carlisle at least would have asked! His hands touched my leg and I tried to escape his touch. He raised his eyebrows. "I will give you some morphine…" he murmured and stood up. I quickly stopped him. _

"_NO! No, it is alright… I was just…" I did not finish the sentence. How could I? I could not tell him that his touch was beyond uncomfortable. It was awful. His hands were warm, too warm and his fingers thick not slender and cold. _

"_Well, the swelling is still too much, we cannot put you in a cast young lady…" he said after a while. I nodded. __Dr Chandler left my room where I spent the rest of the day waiting for the sun to set and hoping that Carlisle was working the night shift again. _

_I was bored. Totally bored. My leg was still hurting and I could not distract me by anything else than daydreaming. Over and over again I pictured Carlisles face in my head, reminisced every little movement he made, every word he said… I definitely __had a crush on him. One of the nurses had brought me an ice-bag for my leg. The ice was good but I rather had something else to ease my pain… _I was really mad! My mom would kill me for this kind of thoughts!

_The day passed slowly and I drifted off to sleep for some time. When I opened my eyes again it was dark outside. __My heart leaped. I sat up in bed and listened anxiously for sounds on the corridor. _

**Liked it? Please leave review!!! **


	5. Chapter 5

**well, another chap for you... hope you like it... **

_**CHAPTER 5: a dangerous development – Carlisle**__**'s POV**_

_I entered the hospital with an eager smile on my face. When I came to the reception desk I greeted the nurses with a __wide grin. _

"_Hello ladies." I was in a too good mood to bother that some of them nearly fainted at my sight. I went straight into my office where I changed my jacket for my lab coat. Then I walked out again. I knew what I was going to do was wrong but I needed to see her. And why shouldn't I? She was one of my patients. I just cared for her well-being. I walked to her room and knocked softly. I hoped desperately that she was still awake. A moment later I heard a soft "Come in." I opened the door and almost took it out of its hinges__. Man! This young woman really had a bad effect on my self-control. _

"_Hello!" I said happily as I stepped inside, closing the door behind my back._

"_Carlisle!" __Esme was sitting in bed. She smiled brilliantly at me. I grinned. _

"_How are you? Is the leg okay?" I asked her. "Yes. I am fine, I think.__" She looked even more beautiful than I remembered. I walked over to her bedside and glanced down at her leg. "No cast?" I asked. Esme shook her head. _

"_No, an old__, fat doctor with grey hair said the swelling was still too big…" She answered. I raised my eyebrows and sat down next to her bed. _

"_An old__, fat doctor with grey hair? You mean Dr Chandler?" She nodded, biting her lip. "I did not like him." She admitted. I chuckled. "Why not? He is a very capable physician." A light blush reddened her cheeks. She did not look at me while she searched for an answer. _

"_He is… he treated me like a child… and his hands… they were too warm…." She muttered. "He is not you…" She ended. I had to laugh at this. She had no idea how much I liked what she just had said. Esmes cheeks blushed in an even deeper red. _

"_Well, I am here now." I said to lighten the mood again. Esme smiled. "__How was your day? Are you still in pain?" I asked. Esme looked at me. _

"_Er… well, my leg is alright… it doesn't hurt very much… but… I am bored.__" She said finally. I chuckled again. "Well, perhaps I could help you with that… would you like to read something?" Esme beamed at me. _

"_Yes! I mean, that would be really nice, thank you." "But I fear the books in my office are perhaps not of your interest. Mostly Shakespeare…" I told her, suddenly thinking that my lecture was nothing which Esme was interested in. _

"_I like Shakespeare…__" She said lowly. I looked surprised at her. "You like….?" I started. Esme interrupted me. "Yes, but I am not allowed to read it… I am hardly allowed to read anything… well, except cookery books…" I smiled and laid my hand on her arm. Esme smiled. "I will get you the books." I said before I got up and left for my office. _

_I grabbed a few books from the shelf in my office: Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet__ and Midsummernightsdream. Then I returned to Esme. She was looking at the door when I entered the room. "Why do you have books here in your office?" she asked me suddenly. I gave her the two books and sat down again in the chair next to her bed. _

"_I spent many nights on call in my study. I am also bored sometimes." I explained. Esme smiled. "__Well, thank you." She whispered. "You should sleep now." I told her softly. Esme sighed. _

"_But I am not tired. I could have slept the whole day.__" She complained. I smiled a little while I listened for sounds from the corridor. It was again a quiet night. I could just stay here a bit… talking to Esme… _No you cannot! You should not even be here!

"_I could stay a little while, if you want me to…" I said wanting desperately to stay – against all reason. Esme looked happy at me. _

"_Really? You would stay?__" She asked me. "Only if you want me to… I mean, I just thought you maybe want some company…" I tried to explain my odd behaviour. _Hell Carlisle, she is an honourable 16-year-old woman, what do you think you are doing here?!

"_Of course I want you to stay!" Esme said when she guessed where my thoughts were heading. "I just did not think you would have time, or like to stay here…" I touched her arm again and squeezed it very carefully. She was so fragile. _

"_I would really like to stay here." I said honestly. Esme smiled. For a moment we sat there in silence until Esme spoke again: _

"_Can I ask you something?" I nodded. "Everything you want. Go on." "How old are you?__" She wanted to know. I cursed inwardly. One of the questions I had to lie about. "It's just because you look so young but you are a doctor and…" I chuckled. _

"_Okay, I understand… I am 28, actually." Esme gasped. "You look much younger! If you weren't a doctor I would guess 23 or 24…" I smiled.__ She had no idea how close to the truth she was. _

"_Well, I take that as a compliment, thank you." Esme blushed. "Are you married?" __She asked me then. I shook my head. _

"_No, I am not. Why?" Obviously my question embarrassed Esme even more. "I… don't think… I just thought…" I interrupted her stuttering. "Esme, it is alright. I just wanted to know… I was curious."__ I told her. She thought about me being married? That was interesting… I chuckled. _

"_Me too." Esme replied. "I was also just curious." I chuckled. "I told you to ask whatever you want, I meant it." I made clear__. "You can ask me everything." Esme looked at me for a while before she asked another question. _

"_You're engaged then?" I shook my head again. "No, I am all on my own." I told her. Esme shook her head. "I can hardly believe that…__" She murmured more to herself. I was just too curious and asked: _

"_Why?__" She blushed and wouldn't meet my eyes. _

"_Well… you are… so handsome and….__" She stopped, obviously shocked by her own words. I was surprised. I knew my kind looked good. The sense behind it was simple: We should attract our prey. But, it was different to hear it from her. I often heard the nurses whisper about it but when Esme said it… I didn't allow myself to finish that thought. I was totally mad! Esme was quiet for a while. I guessed she searched for a less embarrassing subject. I did the same but I could not think of one. In fact, my mind was empty when I watched her beautiful frame. _

"_Where are you from?__" She finally asked me. I smiled. I decided to tell her some truth, as much as would seem normal. "I am from England, London. My father was an Anglican priest. He died many years ago." Esme nodded. _

"_I am sorry.__" She said. "It is alright. My father wasn't one of the kindest persons and I never quite agreed with him. I think I was a disappointing son for him…" _

"_But you are a doctor__! It's an honourable profession. Wasn't he proud?" I liked how she tried to make me feel better. _

"_I never was like my father. He had a different sight of things and he did not know I became a doctor." I told her. Esme nodded. _

"_I understand. My parents also sometimes see things differently than I do…" Now I was the one to comfort her. My hand reached for hers and I squeezed it lightly. She smiled at me and chased the thoughts of her parents away. _

"_Did you always want to become a doctor?__" She asked instead. Her curiosity was endless it seemed but I wanted to answer her. _

"_I wanted to help the people. There was a turning point in my life and afterwards I struggled a bit until I found out what I wanted." I told her hoping I did not tell too much. The problem was I trusted her. I trusted her far too much. _

"_What happened?__" She asked. I sighed lowly. How to explain what happened to me without revealing the truth? I did not want to lie to her. "I… had an accident…" I said. Yes, perhaps one could say that. It was a kind of accident… Before she could stress the topic more I decided that now it was my turn to ask. _

"_So, Esme, __may I ask you something now?" She nodded and smiled. "Of course, just ask." I laughed. "What do you want to do with your life?" She shifted uncomfortable and told me then: "My parents want me to marry…" I shook my head. She was 16! I clenched my jaw when I thought of that fragile, lively woman in the arms of a man or rummaging in the kitchen…No! That was no life for her. _

"_I did not ask what your parents want from you…" I said. Esme looked at me, surprise obvious in her eyes and for some strange reason – doubt. _

"_I, I always wanted to… become a teacher." She whispered. I smiled. "Which subjects? What would you like to teach?__" She blushed a bit as she told me._

"_Art or history of art, but I also like literature very much." "Art? That is very interesting. Do you draw?" I found her fascinating. She was so young. Normally girls in her age would __only think about their outfits, new fashion styles or boys. Esme was different. She did not burst into giggles when she saw me or flinch away shyly, she did not try to flirt with me forcefully. I could relax with her. And I felt less lonely. _

"_Sometimes, I have not much time… my mother always keeps me busy… she wants me to learn all the things a lady should know." Her voice was sad. I knew that she did not like these things. _

"_To me you seem to be just perfect the way you are." I told her in the attempt to lighten the mood again. Esme flushed and looked away as she mumbled a "Thank you." I __flashed her a smile. "What for? I only spoke the truth." I said. Her cheeks flushed an even deeper scarlet. It was beautiful and tempting at the same time. For a few moments I just marvelled at her until a sound outside on the corridor interrupted us. There was calling and running. _

"_It seems I have work to do." I said as I got up. Esme nodded. I made my way for the door, just before I opened it, Esme called after me: "Carlisle? Will you come here afterwards again?" I smiled at her and nodded. "I will." I said before I left her room. __When I had left I realised how stupid the promise I just made really was. I should not be with her. I could not sit next to her bed and talk to her all night. It was wrong. But I still wanted it. I hadn't talked that way about me for centuries. I doubted I had ever shared so much of myself with someone else. _

"_Dr Cullen." A nurse __came running towards me. "There's a patient, male, he is bleeding very baldy." I nodded and followed her to the examination room. A man was already sitting on the table, he was drunk. My nose wrinkled when I smelled the alcohol. "Hello Doc!" he babbled. I forced a smile and went to the man to examine him. He had a large cut over his wrist. _

"_How did that happen?" I asked slowly and clearly. The man grinned at me. _

"_Welllll… doc… I had a party tonight… you know, I'm father now, a boy… I cele- celebra-, we had a party and I must have fallen…-" The man laughed. "…in a pile of pieces of glass…" he said but afterwards went on babbling over the party. I shook my head slightly. His wife must be really happy… I examined and cleaned the cut from any splinters. __Afterwards I decided that the man did not need any narcotics while I stitched him up. When I had finished I sent the man home and cleaned the table. I still shook my head about the behaviour of the man. What a fine way of celebrating a birth. I left the examination room and went for a late-night check-up on my patients. The two nurses who worked the night-shift with me sat in the lounge and talked. The check-up on my patients tonight was more a fake than anything else. When I was finished I returned to Esme's room._

_I opened the door and peeked inside. She was asleep. Rays of moonlight __fell inside the room and made her look like an angel. The caramel curls spread over the pillow, her lips curved up in a tiny smile. I stepped towards her bed and tugged the blanket securely around her. Then I hesitated. I felt the urge to touch her cheek. Somehow my body seemed to work on its own. My hand cupped her cheek and I stood rooted to the spot when she leaned into my cold touch. God, I woke her up! Now I was in trouble. How should I explain me touching her? The craziest explanations shot through my head and it took some seconds until I realised that Esme was still fast asleep. She leaned into my palm and stirred. A moment later I froze again. "Carlisle…" She murmured probably too low for human ears to hear, but I heard it. It did not sound scared or like a nightmare. It sounded… good. No. I was no good. She should not dream of me, not in pleasant ways. That was so wrong. But I liked it. There was someone who really liked the person I was. Who really liked _me_. I stroked her face and whispered: "sleep, Esme, sleep…" She sighed lowly and I took my hand away. Then I stepped back and leaned against the wall. I needed to get away from her. Far away. I told myself that over and over again but I could not. I wanted to have as much time with her as possible. Afterwards I would be all alone again and then it would be even harder than before. I wanted some memories of a good time in my life, or existence. _

_The night passed slowly and I spent some more time watching Esme sleep and pushing my bad conscience aside. Three hours before dawn another patient came into the hospital and I was busy caring for the man. When I had looked after his injuries and my patient was sure to survive__, my shift was almost over. I took my coat and after one last glance at Esme I went home for the day. I was already missing her. _She is human, Carlisle! You cannot keep up with this! It is dangerous! For her and for you! _I cursed under my breath. I was close to break the rules of my kind. And I did not even know why. Why was I intrigued by this young woman like I was? What made her so special? Her blood called for me, yes, but I could resist that. It was something else which was much harder to resist, something about her personality. I just could not put my finger on it. _

_**Let me know what you think! Thanks! **_

_**PS: I promise I try to update faster from now on, chap 2 of Missing Moments will be up this week... check it out... ****  
**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Another chapter for you... enjoy! **_

_**CHAPTER 6: Everything I want – Esme's POV **_

_It was dark outside, as I woke up. The hospital was still quiet. There was no sound on the corridor, or better none I wanted to hear. Where was he? He did work the night shift tonight as well, didn't he? He must be. __When someone knocked on my door I nearly jumped out of the bed. Every part of my body hoped, longed for Carlisle. _

"_Come in!" I called. The door opened and Carlisle stepped inside. _

"_Hello!" he smiled at me while he closed the door behind his back. __"Carlisle!" I said happily. He grinned even more. He looked so gorgeous when he smiled. _

"_How are you? Is the leg okay?" he asked me. I nodded. __"Yes. I am fine, I think." I told him. Carlisle took a look at my leg. "No cast?" he frowned. _

"_No, an old, fat doctor with grey hair said the swelling was still too big…" I said. I could see him raising his eyebrows while he took a seat next to my bed. __"An old, fat doctor with grey hair?" he repeated. "You mean Dr Chandler?" I bit my lip. There would probably have been a nicer way to describe the doctor, but I did not like him. That's what I admitted to Carlisle. "I did not like him." I could hear him chuckle. Obviously Carlisle was not mad at me for being rude or something. "Why not? He is a very capable physician." He said but it was not in a scolding way, more teasing and curious. _

"_He is… he treated me like a child… and his hands… they were too warm…." I blurted out. I could feel my cheeks go red but before I could stop my tongue I had spoke the last fatal words. "He is not you…" Carlisle laughed. I blushed even more but I also decided that hear him laughing was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. _

"_Well, I am here now." He said with a grin on his face. _And you cannot imagine how happy I am that you are! _"How was your day? Are you still in pain?" Carlisle asked me. I shook my head. Even if my leg would be throbbing and burning with pain I would easily forget it when I looked into these eyes. _

"_Er… well, my leg is alright… it doesn't hurt very much… but… I am bored." I could hardly form a sentence when he looked at me like he did. His eyes were beautiful but I thought they were slightly darker. Carlisle chuckled. "Well, perhaps I could help you with that… would you like to read something?" he wanted to know. "Yes!" I said eagerly, then I quickly corrected myself. "I mean, that would be really nice, thank you." Carlisle suddenly looked a little sad. "But I fear the books in my office are perhaps not of your interest. Mostly Shakespeare…" he said as if he was regretting that he had n__o books I was probably interested in. I could surprise him with that. _

"_I like Shakespeare…" I said. I really did. The pieces of Shakespeare were beautiful but I had not often a chance to read them. Therefore I often read his sonnets, they were short. I could stop quickly if my parents caught me. To read something like Romeo and Juliet would be difficult because I __could not concentrate on the plot with so many interruptions. . "You like….?" Carlisle asked but I interrupted him. "Yes, but I am not allowed to read it… I am hardly allowed to read anything… well, except cookery books…" I told him. I tried to make a joke out of my misery. Carlisle looked at me and smiled weak. Then he put a hand on my arm and goose bumps erupted on my body. But not from the cold. I was already used to it, it was comfortable. "I will get you the books." He said and left the room. I followed him with my eyes._

_I watched the door and only moments later he returned. "Why do you have books here in your office?" I asked him suddenly. He smiled and sat down on the chair. Then he handed me the books and replied: _

"_I spent many nights on call in my study. I am also bored sometimes." "Well, thank you." I whispered. "You should sleep now." Carlisle told me. _No! I could not sleep now! I wanted him to stay here.

"_But I am not tired. I could have slept the whole day." I complained. Carlisle seemed to think it over. "I could stay a little while, if you want me to…" he finally said. __"Really? You would stay?" I asked him. I could not really believe that he wanted to be with me. "Only if you want me to… I mean, I just thought you maybe want some company…" Carlisle stuttered. He had got me wrong. But he looked extremely cute when he was a little unsure. _

"_Of course I want you to stay!" I almost shouted at him. He smiled. "I just did not think you would have time, or like to s__tay here…" I told him a little unsure. Carlisle touched my arm again and squeezed it. It felt like heaven. Though his hand was cold and hard it was comfortable. _

"_I would really like to stay here." He admitted. I could hardly believe it. __For some minutes we did not speak a word but it was not an awkward silence. I did not have to speak with him. I felt good just sitting here knowing he was by my side. But I wanted to get to know him. He seemed to be an interesting person. _

"_Can I ask you something?" I asked after a while. Carlisle smiled and nodded. "Everything you want. Go on." He__ said immediately. I thought about what I wanted to ask him first. But there was one thing I had wondered about all the time. _

"_How old are you?" Carlisle did not reply right away. Perhaps he had not meant __what he said earlier. "It's just because you look so young but you are a doctor and…" I tried to explain. Carlisle chuckled. "Okay, I understand… I am 28, actually." He admitted. I gasped. _

"_You look much younger! If you weren't a doctor I would guess 23 or 24…" I said surprised. __He smiled. Well, I take that as a compliment, thank you." I felt myself blushing. He was so handsome when he smiled. I wanted to ask him another thing, but I feared I didn't have the courage to do so. I simply could not ask him that! _

"_Are you married?" __I then blurted out very fast. I knew I was being blunt but I was just curious. He must be. Which woman would let him pass? _

"_No, I am not. Why?" Oh no, this was embarrassing… Why did I have to ask? "I… don't think… I just thought…" Carlisle interrupted me with a smile. "Esme, it is alright. I just wanted to know… I was curious." He said. He chuckled, probably at my still beet red face. "Me too." I said quickly. "I was also just curious." Carlisle chuckled again. "I told you to ask whatever you want, I meant it." He pointed out. "You can ask me everything." I looked at him and tried to find the courage to ask another question. Well, he did not seem to mind my former question…_

"_You're engaged then?" He shook his head again. "No, I am all on my own." Carlisle replied smirking a little. I shook my head unbelievingly. _

"_I can hardly believe that…" I murmured under my breath. How could this be true? Carlisle was the most handsome man I had ever seen and h__e was also polite and a perfect gentleman. The dream of every woman. _

"_Why?" Carlisle asked suddenly. I felt a blush creep on my cheeks and looked away from his curious gaze. _

"_Well… you are… so handsome and…." I muttered but did not finish the sentence. He must know that himself. __I remained silent and searched for another topic in which I would not make a fool of myself. I stole a glance at him out of the corner of my eye. I thought he looked at me but I was probably wrong. For a moment I simply admired his beautiful face. The pale skin which I imagined to be smooth like silk, his blonde wavy hair and this amazing eyes. A god, an angel. "Where are you from?" I asked him glad to have found an innocent topic. Carlisle smiled and answered immediately. _

"_I am from England, London. My father was an Anglican priest. He died many years ago." He told me. His eyes focused something far away. He was captured in his memories. _

"_I'm sorry." I murmured when he talked about his father. This must be very hard for him. He was so young but seemed to have no family at all. Wasn't he lonely? _

"_It is alright. My father wasn't one of the kindest persons and I never quite agreed with him. I think I was a disappointing son for him…" Carlisle stated. __How could he even think that? Carlisle was perfect; clever, gentle, polite… _

"_But you are a doctor! It's an honourable profession. Wasn't he proud?" I countered him. His father must have been proud to have such a son. Every man would be. _

"_I never was like my father. He had a different sight of things and he did not know I became a doctor." Carlisle said lowly. I __understood how he probably felt. I nodded silently. _

"_I understand. My parents also sometimes see things differently than I do…" I whispered. Our families seemed similar on that matter. __I though about my parents who never noticed what I really wanted. Carlisle took my hand in his again and squeezed it lightly. The touch was comforting. I quickly thought of more pleasant things like his skin on my own. _

"_Did you always want to become a doctor?" I asked my then. Carlisle smiled at me and answered. "I wanted to help the people. There was a turning point in my life and afterwards I struggled a bit until I found out what I wanted." I wondered what this turning point had been. I could not imagine him to struggle with his life. He was just calm and collected, sure of himself. I thought he could never make a wrong decision. _

"_What happened?" I wanted to know and hoped this was not too forward of me. Carlisle sighed lowly. After a few seconds he finally answered my question. _

"_I… had an accident…" He whispered. __I decided not to stress this topic anymore. It made him sad. Carlisle obviously thought the same because he changed the topic himself._

"_So, Esme, may I ask you something now?" I smiled at him and nodded. He could ask everything he wanted to. _

"_Of course, just ask." I answered him and made Carlisle laugh. It sounded so beautiful! "What do you want to do with your life?" This was a bit of a touchy question. I really liked Carlisle and I also trusted him but should I really tell him what I wanted? It was nothing a man would expect. Even he would not be that open-minded. _

"_My parents want me to marry…" I said quietly. __"I did not ask what your parents want from you…" Carlisle said lowly and looked at me. I was completely stunned. He wanted to know what _I _would like to do? No, he cannot be that perfect. _

"_I, I always wanted to… become a teacher." I whispered very hesitant__ly and waited anxiously for his reaction. He smiled eagerly. "Which subjects? What would you like to teach?" he asked with curiosity in his eyes. I blushed. I was not used to getting so much attention and honest interest in my likes and dislikes. "Art or history of art, but I also like literature very much." I told him. I was less shy than before and also guessed that this might interest him. He seemed like a very cultivated person. I could easily imagine him visiting a gallery or going to the Opera. It just fit him. _

"_Art? That is very interesting. Do you draw?" Carlisle asked on. __"Sometimes, I have not much time… my mother always keeps me busy… she wants me to learn all the things a lady should know." I tried to hide my sadness but wasn't successful with it. _

"_To me you seem to be just perfect the way you are." Carlisle said honestly his eyes locked on mine. I swallowed and as I felt a furious blush creeping up my cheeks quickly looked away while mumbling a "thank you." _

"_What for? I only spoke the truth." He said lightly and my cheeks burned even more. Some rushing and calling outside in the corridor rescued me from the situation. Carlisle was obviously needed._

"_It seems I have work to do." __ He almost sighed. I only nodded. Then he got up from the chair and made his way to the door. Just before he left I called after him. _

"_Carlisle? Will you come here afterwards again?" It was the most stupid thing to ask but I couldn't help it. He smiled anyway and nodded. "I will." He promised before he left. I sank back in my pillows and closed my eyes. Had this just happened? Or have I dreame__d it all? I smiled and let the last minutes pass trough my head again. I yawned and when Carlisle did not return after a few minutes I sighed and cuddled up in the pillow. _

Something cold touched my cheek and I leaned into it. The coldness reminded me of Carlisle. I sighed and snuggled closer into my pillow.

_**Tell me what you think! Please... xD**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Here I am again, and I'm really sorry, it took me so long to update... I was busy with university, sorry... but now I have holidays and try to be faster with the next chapters.. as a kind of apology you get two chaps today! Have fun! **

_**CHAPTER 7: A special memory to keep – Carlisle's POV**_

_To spend the day at home was close to torture. I could hardly find distraction. My thoughts often drifted away to the hospital and a certain patient lying there. I missed her. I hardly talked to anyone and had no social contacts. Even at the hospital I only talked about medical subjects and the patients. I had never opened up to a person like I had with Esme. I could not explain why I did it, but something about her made me want to tell her everything. I sat down in my office, the curtains closed over the window though it was an overcast day. __I had a book in my lap and tried to read. After a few minutes I sighed and put the book aside. I could not read now. My mind just wouldn't concentrate on the letters. _This has to end! It will end! Esme is going home and you will never see her again! _I told myself. In two days Esme would be gone. Her leg would be cast today and then I won't see her ever again. I would go to Chicago. This was my last week at the hospital. I would go away but my memory wouldn't let me forget. I was not sure if this was a blessing or a curse. _

_I__ spent the daylight hours pacing through my little house, watching the time passing. I could swear the clock moved slower than usual. _

_Finally the sun started to set in the west. __I was out of the door after the last ray of sunlight had just disappeared. I walked to the hospital, trying to rein my enthusiasm in and not to run. As I entered the building my still heart felt like it might start beating again. I was eager to see Esme. I was eager for my shift tonight. When I rounded the corner to the nurses station I saw how the nurse who worked with me tonight stared at me with a quickened heartbeat. _

"_Good evening." I greeted politely. _

"_Hello Dr Cullen!" the nurse greeted. "eh, Mrs Snow just showed to excuse her husband. Dr Snow is ill, would it be possible for you to work the double shift?" the nurse asked me. I stopped and tried to hide the smile that was about to spread over my face. _

"_I, yes, I think so. No problem." I told her in a neutral tone. The nurse nodded and turned back to her papers. I went on down to my office. I__nside I shrugged out of my coat and put my lab coat on. Then I decided to start with a quick check-up on the patients. There was nothing serious to be looked after. Two people who stayed overnight to check on them, one probably had a concussion the other one might develop appendicitis. I made sure they were okay before I finally arrived at the door to Esmes room. I swallowed and knocked lightly. Hoping she was awake. _

"_Come in!" It sounded almost as eager as I felt. I smiled and opened the door. "Hello Esme." I said. She was wide awake, smiling at me with these beautiful brown eyes sparkling. _

"_Carlisle! Hello!" she answered. I chuckled. "How are you? How was your day?" I asked her. I could see that her leg was in a cast now, which meant she would be able to leave soon. I didn't know why this thought made me sad_. It is good for her. She will be just fine and grow up to be a beautiful, stunning woman._ I imagined her in a classroom with children around, listening to her voice and scribbling down their first letters. She would be a wonderful teacher. Loving, compassionate, patient and endearing. _

"_Well, I am going home tomorrow…" Esmes answer ended my dreaming abruptly. For some strange reason she sounded a bit sad. I smiled. _

"_That's good news. I am sure your leg will heal properly and in a few weeks you can climb trees again…" I winked at her. Esme smiled a little. _

"_Well, what did you do all day?" I asked her again. "Dr Chandler __cast my leg in the morning and then I had to wait until the cast was dry. I did not even have something to read because they let me wait in one of the examination rooms." She explained. _

"_Why do you work the night shifts?" Esme asked me__ out of the blue. I sighed. "Well, someone has to work at night…" I explained. Esme nodded. _

"_Yeah, but I don't like Dr Chandler… he is just so… I don't know… he was not gentle and caring when he put my leg in a cast…" I sat up and looked at her. _

"_Did he hurt you…" I quickly corrected myself. "Does your leg hurt?" __Esme shook her head. _

"_No, don't worry. I am alright I just wished I had you to talk…" she mumbled. Carlisle grinned. "What did you do all day? It was so nice outside…" Esme said with longing in her voice. _

"_I slept." I lied automatically. "And then I read a little." "You were not outside? It was so nice, even though it was cloudy." __Esme told me. I could hear how much she wanted to go outside, how she hated to be stuck in the hospital, unable to leave the bed. Suddenly a really crazy thought came to my mind. _

"_Would you like to go outside?" I asked her. Esme stared at me. Her eyes were curious but they also sparkled with some kind of vivid eagerness. "Well, I know __it's not the same, but perhaps you want to go out into the park with me… Just for a quick stroll…" I felt silly suggesting it. I mean, it was in the middle of the night. But Esmes eyes twinkled happily. _

"_Really? Could we go out? I mean…" she sounded glad. I smiled. This might be silly and it was something I had never done before, but what did I have to lose? I would be gone in a few days and I was a doctor. I could do this. _

"_I am a doctor… I could take you out for some minutes… if you want…" Esme beamed at me. "Really? That would be great! It is such a beautiful night!" __She said. I nodded. _

"_Alright. I will get a wheelchair then and you should put some warmer clothes on…" __I said and went for the door, but Esme stopped me. _

"_Carlisle?" I turned around. "Yes?" Esme bit her lip shyly and would not meet my gaze. "Would you… give me some clothes from the cupboard?" she mumbled. __I froze. _Of course! She cannot go out in this thin nightgown!_ I nodded silently._

"_eh… yes." I murmured. "Of course__." Esme looked at me. I turned to the cupboard and took a skirt and a woollen sweater for Esme. I really had no idea about women's clothing and I rather stayed that way. I felt really awkward shuffling through her clothes. I laid it next to her on the bed. "Thank you." Said Esme lowly. "Shall I send a nurse to help you?" I asked her. Esme shook her head. _

"_No, thank you. It is alright." I smiled. "Okay, I will go and get a wheelchair." I left the room and headed for my office at first. I changed my lab coat for my coat because it was a cool night and it would look suspicious if I was not bothered by the cool night air. Afterwards I took a wheelchair and went down the hall. By the nurse-station I stopped quickly. _

"_Dr Cullen, what is wrong?" the nurse asked me puzzled. I smiled. "Oh, it is nothing. Just young Ms Platt who cannot sleep and I offered to take her outside for a moment. I am sure she just needs some fresh air." I explained smiling. The nurse gave me a strange look. _

"_You could also give her some morphine to calm her down…" she murmured. I nodded. "I know, but she is only 16 and I think a quick stroll through the park will also do the trick. I don't like to __give her morphine if I can help it." I said as polite as possible while I was shocked by the behaviour of the nurse. I won't put any of my patients to sleep while I could do otherwise. I cared for my patients. "Well, if you think so…" The nurse mumbled. I nodded and continued walking down the hall. In front of Esmes room I stopped and knocked. _

"_Come in!" she replied. I opened the door and found Esme sitting on the bed. She looked eager. I pushed the wheelchair to her bed and __approached her. "Well, you are ready?" I asked her. Esme nodded. "I am." "Good, may I?" I gestured towards the wheelchair. Esme smiled. "Yes, of course." I scooped Esme up in my arms and gently sat her down in the wheelchair. She beamed at me. I wheeled her out of the room and down the corridor. _

_The night was cool, but not cold. A gentle breeze whistled in the trees. I pushed the wheelchair towards the little park. Esme turned her head to me. _

"_Thank you, Carlisle." She said. I smiled. "My pleasure, Esme." I replied. It was true I enjoyed this probably as much as she did. __Under a large oak tree I stopped and sat down on the bench. "Well, I am sorry, you cannot climb up the tree but I think this is also alright…" I winked at Esme and she chuckled. "This is perfect. Thank you." She whispered. Esme looked around the park and smiled. I heard something rustle on the ground and looked towards the bushes. Just a second after I saw it, Esme grabbed my sleeve. _

"_Hey look, a squirrel!" she said. I smiled. The little creature hopped over the ground sniffing and listening carefully. Finally it spotted an acorn, took it and climbed up a nearby tree again. "It is so cute.__" Esme said lowly. "Yes it is." I agreed. We sat there in silence. Esme was calm and relaxed. After a few minutes I realized that she was cold. I took my coat off and placed it over her shoulder. "Thank you." She said. "But, aren't you cold?" I chuckled and shook my head. "No, I am not. Don't worry." I smiled at her and Esme snuggled into my coat. _

"_I read __Romeo and Juliet today." Esme said after a while. I looked into her eyes. "You read it? You finished?" I asked surprised. "Yes, I started it before I fell… I told you…" she said slowly. "Well, yes you did, but you didn't come far, I thought…" Esme nodded. _

"_I did not, but it was so great and I read it through when I was back in my room, after the cast was dry." I was simply astonished by her. She has read one of Shakespeare's mast__erpieces in a couple of hours._

"_I never met someone like you…" I muttered lowly, but somehow, Esme caught my words. "What do you mean?" she asked. I smiled. _

"_It's just, you always surprise me. Girls your age are normally giggling, whispering over boys or dressing themselves up like dolls." Esme blushed slightly. "You are really unique, Esme." I said and earned a tiny smile from her. _

"_And you are flattering." She mumbled. I probably shouldn't hear this, but my sensitive ears caught the words of course. __I quickly disguised my chuckle as a cough. She shot me a worried look._

"_I told you, you will get cold!" she said and wanted to hand me my jacket back. I objected. "No. It is alright, really. What about we just continue our little walk?" I asked her. She nodded. _

"_Well, walk at least for you… I am just sitting here, being wheeled around." __I heard the disgust in her voice and it made me sad. "You will be alright soon. In a few weeks the cast will be taken off and you can do everything you like again – even climbing trees." I joked. She smiled at me. "Yes." she agreed. I wheeled her through the park and we chatted a bit over various topics. Finally, I caught Esme hiding a yawn. _

"_You are tired. I will take you back inside." I said. She turned in the chair and looked at me. "No, I am not tired. Reawwy." She yawned again and I chuckled. "Of course. Come on. You need sleep, your leg will heal faster, if you sleep properly." I told her. We entered the hospital again and I brought Esme back into her room, ignoring the stare of the nurse. But Esme noticed it. _

"_I hope you didn't get yourself into trouble." She said. "No, why?" I asked. "Well, this nurse didn't seem pleased." She explained. I laughed lightly. "__No, but I will survive it. She is probably just upset to work the night shift." I reassured her. Esme nodded. I helped her out of the wheelchair and sat her onto the bed. Then I left for Esme to get out of her clothes. I passed the reception and the nurse stared at me. _

"_It is really amazing how you care for your patients, Dr Cullen… even letting them wear your coat." Her voice was piercing. I stared __at her and then realized that Esme had been wearing my jacket when we entered the hospital. If I could have I would have gone even paler. I had forgotten about how it looked like to others. Within seconds I regained my composure. _

"_Well, I was just being a gentleman. The young lady was cold and we wouldn't want to keep her here longer than necessary." I lied. The nurse smirked. "Wouldn't we?" she murmured to herself and then looked back down onto her book. I cursed inwardly. How could I have been so stupid? Going on a moonlight walk with a young woman, letting her wear my coat… I could have gotten her into trouble. __But, no one would know about it. Esme would be released in the morning and the nurse would go home to sleep. No one would learn about this. I really hoped, at least. _

_After a few minutes I returned to Esme's room. I wanted to check on her again and I needed my jacket back. I found Esme still awake, though barely. "I began to think you wouldn't come again." She whispered. I smiled. _

"_Of course I do. I just got delayed." I answered. She had my jacket in her hands. "Well, I think you want this back…" she murmured. _Keep it, if you want to. _My mind screamed at me. But I could not say something along these lines. _

"_Yes, thank you." I took the coat from her and smiled. Esme smiled back. "Good night, Esme. _" _I said. She nodded. "Thank you. What will you do for the rest of the night?" she asked me. "Well, I actually will rest a little bit, too. I was asked to work the morning shift tomorrow. A colleague is ill." I explained. _

"_Oh, then sleep well, I think. I hope you can get rest. It must be hard to work so long without sleeping properly." She said, her voice full of compassion. I felt strange to have her care for me so much. I was not used to feelings like that. _

"_eh, well, it is alright… I will be able to release you tomorrow and do the final examination and that's a quite pleasant thought." I tried to lighten the mood with a little joke. Esme blushed at my words and smiled shyly. I winked at her and left the room to finally let her go to sleep. _

_In my office I lay down on the little couch and closed my eyes. I had my coat folded under my head as a pillow. Esmes sweet scent was clinging to it and I breathed deep and regular. One part of me was screaming how sick that was. I was attached to a girl! I craved for her. Her blood pulled me __as strong as nothing else before. But her whole personality did too. I should feel bad inhaling her scent like some perverse guy but I couldn't. I wasn't doing anything. I would let her go in the morning and then move to Chicago. Nothing wrong at all… Except that the thought of leaving her made my still heart ache… _

**Okay, tell me what you think... please... **

**PS: there's one more chap... check it out!  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**As promised the second chapter! Have fun! **

**CHAPTER 8: A mid****summernightsdream coming true – Esme's POV**

_The day passed too slowly. It was boring. In the morning the disgusting Dr Chandler announced that he would cast my leg. I was brought to the examination room where he worked for about an hour, bandaging m leg, touching me with his hot, fat fingers. I tried really hard not to flinch from the touch and craved for a certain someone in my thoughts. I doubted that I would have been happy with any other doctor. __Carlisle just couldn't be reached by anyone. After my leg was cast I had to spend another one and a half hour in the examination room. The cast needed to dry. So I was left alone without anything to occupy my mind. I hated Dr Chandler even more. Carlisle would never have done something like this. When I was brought back in my room I quickly grabbed one of the books he brought me – Romeo and Juliet – and started to read. For the next hours I buried myself in the most famous love story in the world, letting the scenes play in my mind. I had to admit that Romeo in my imagination was blonde for somehow – though he was Italian according to Shakespeare setting the plot in Verona. Well, it didn't matter for me. While outside the nurses rushed past and treated the patients I was lost in the play._

_When I finally lay the book aside it was almost dark and I was finished. __Noticing the sun set outside my heart skipped a little. The nightshift would start soon and that meant that Carlisle would start working. When the nurse brought me supper could hardly eat. I was just so excited. It was my last night in the hospital. Dr Chandler had announced I would be leaving the next day. The thought made me somehow a little sad. My time with Dr Cullen would soon be over, too soon. _

_A few minutes later I heard the faint sound of a door falling shut and then a voice I would recognise everywhere. Carlisle. Though I couldn't understand the words spoken I knew it was him. I sat up straighter and waited anxiously. __I was sure he would at least say hello. I heard footsteps go down the hall, away from my room and pouted a little. But then a knock on my door ripped me out of my sad thoughts. "Come in!" I shouted happy. _

"_Hello Esme." Carlisle opened the door and smiled at me. "Carlisle! Hello!" I replied. He chuckled because of my enthusiasm. "How are you? How was your day?" he asked me. "Well, I am going home tomorrow…" I stated sadly. __Carlisle smiled at me but I had the strange feeling it was forced. "That's good news. I am sure your leg will heal properly and in a few weeks you can climb trees again…" He winked at me and I smiled automatically. _

"_Well, what did you do all day?" Carlisle wanted to know as he sat down on the edge of my bed. "Dr Chandler __cast my leg in the morning and then I had to wait until the cast was dry. I did not even have something to read because they let me wait in one of the examination rooms." I explained to him, sounding probably a little frustrated. I did not want to make Carlisle feel bad and tried to change the subject. _

"_Why do you work the night shifts?" I asked him. Carlisle looked a little puzzled but answered immediately. "Well, someone has to work at night…" he said. I nodded. I really wished he could work at days too, but of course he needed sleep like everyone else and surely also had other things to do in his free time. _

"_Yeah, but I don't like Dr Chandler… he is just so…__ I don't know… he was not gentle and caring when he put my leg in a cast…" _He is not like you… _I added in my thoughts. Carlisle sat up straight and looked me into the eyes. _

"_Did he hurt you… Does your leg hurt?" He asked. His golden eyes were clouded with worry. "No, don't worry." I told him. "I am __alright; I just wished I had you to talk…" The last part I only mumbled. Carlisle was not supposed to hear this. But he did, his grin proved this. "What did you do all day? It was so nice outside…" It had really been a nice day, though it was overcast. How I wished I could have spent it outside somewhere but I was stuck in this hospital, alone and bored. "I slept." Carlisle said. _Of course he did. He had worked at night and spent a long time talking to me._ "And then I read a little." He added. "You were not outside?" I asked puzzled. "It was so nice, even though it was cloudy." Carlisle watched me with a strange expression on his face. His eyes sparkled with some kind of idea. What was on his mind? _

"_Would you like to go outside?" Carlisle then asked me. I stared at him. Going outside? I would love that but… "Well, I know it's not the same, but perhaps you want to go out into the park with me… Just for a quick stroll…" Carlisle said slowly. I felt a large smile appear on my face. He wanted to take me outside? For a walk? _

"_Really? Could we go out? I mean…" I started happily. Carlisle smiled at my eagerness. "I am a doctor… I could take you out for some minutes… if you want…" he explained thoughtful. I guessed from the way he behaved he had never done this before and it made me feel special in a way. "Really? That would be great! It is such a beautiful night!" I tried, without success, to calm down my excitement. "Alright. I will get a wheelchair then and you should put some warmer clothes on…" Carlisle told me and stood up to leave me alone. As he reached the door I stopped him. I felt a little embarrassed to ask him for this but who else was there? _

"_Carlisle?" He __turned around and looked at me. "Yes?" he asked patiently. I bit my lip and avoided looking him in the eyes. "Would you give me some clothes from the cupboard?" I was not sure if he could even catch the words because I only mumbled my request. "eh… yes." I heard him reply. It might have been my imagination but he also sounded a little hesitant. "Of course." I looked up at him but just in this moment he turned to the closet. He quickly put a skirt and a sweater down on the edge of my bed. _

"_Thank you." I whispered. "Shall I send a nurse to help you?" Carlisle asked. His voice still sounded a little strange – nervous I thought. I shook my head slowly. I would not need a nurse. My leg was __cast now and it did not hurt so much anymore. I could at least move again – if only slow and careful. "No, thank you. It is alright." I reassured Carlisle smiling. "Okay, I will go and get a wheelchair." I watched him leave my room quicker as usual and without looking at me. I his shook my head at this odd behaviour. He always seemed so confident, calm and collected had my simple request bothered him that much? Unlikely. _

_I reached for the clothes on my bed and __slowly, with some difficulties I changed into them. It took me an awful long time to pull the skirt over the cast because I could not bend my knee. Well, I was still lucky. The cast ended just above my knee. If Dr Chandler would have cast my leg up to my hip I would not have been able to move at all. I quickly pulled the sweater over my head and then tried to tame my hair a little bit. The wool had it to stand up in every direction. _

_I sat up in my bed and waited impatiently. Dr Cullen was talking outside, probably to a nurse. I recognized his voice but could not understand what was spoken. __A minute later I heard a knock on my door. "Come in!" I called eagerly. A wheelchair was pushed through the door followed by Carlisle. He smiled. _

"_Well, are you ready?" he asked. I nodded eagerly. "I am." "Good, may I?" he gestured towards the wheelchair which he placed next to my bed. "Yes, of course." I told him. He had lifted me up several times now and I had to admit I liked the feeling of being held by him. He scooped me up again, effortlessly as it seemed. Though his body felt strangely cold and hard I __missed it as soon as he gently sat me down in the wheelchair. I turned around and smiled up at Carlisle as he wheeled me out of the room and down the corridor. _

_It was cool outside, the air clean and fresh. A welcoming change to the sterile smelling hospital air. It sometimes felt like you were inhaling bleach. __Carlisle pushed the wheelchair towards the little hospital park. I turned around again to thank him. _

"_Thank you, Carlisle." He smiled sincere. "My pleasure, Esme." He answered simply. I smiled. In front of us was a large oak tree with a bench under it. Carlisle stopped under the tree and sat down on the bench. "Well, I am sorry, you cannot climb up the tree but I think this is also alright…" He winked and I chuckled. _

"_This is perfect. Thank you." I whispered. I felt so much freer here. __I really hated the hospital – at daytime. I was all alone, the nurses were not really friendly and I had nothing to do. I enjoyed being outside. I looked around the trees in the park and suddenly something caught my eye. There, by the bushes, something was moving. I held my breath and watched a squirrel coming out. It carefully listened and sniffed the air. I quickly grabbed Carlisle's sleeve to get his attention. _

"_Hey look, a squirrel!" I said excitedly but still low. I did not want to scare it away. Carlisle smiled as he watched the little animal with me. "It is so cute." I whispered. _

"_Yes it is." He agreed. We watched the squirrel take an acorn before it climbed up the tree again. For some time nobody spoke. It was a peaceful silence. Unfortunately I was beginning to get cold. But I did not want to go back inside just then and kept quiet. __Just before a shudder ran through me I felt Carlisle placing something on my shoulders. I looked at him and saw that he had taken his coat off. _

"_Thank you." I said. "But aren't you cold?" He was just wearing a dark pullover now. He chuckled amused by me caring for him. "No, I am not. Don't worry." He answered and shook his head. __I could not imagine how he couldn't be cold but I gratefully snuggled into his coat. It was not warm as it should have been from his body but it smelled so good. _

"_I read Romeo and Juliet today." I told Carlisle after a while. He looked into my eyes. "You read it? You finished?" I smiled at the surprise in his voice. _

"_Yes, I started it before I fell… I told you…" I answered. "Well, yes you did, but you didn't come far, I thought…"__ he said. "I did not, but it was so great and I read it through when I was back in my room, after the cast was dry." I explained. I had hardly noticed the time flying by as I was reading. And the plot was so thrilling. I could simply not stop. I needed to know how it would end. _

"_I never met someone like you…" Carlisle murmured astonished. I looked at him. _

"_What do you mean?" "It's just, you always surprise me. Girls your age are normally giggling, whispering over boys or dressing themselves up like dolls." Carlisle explained. I blushed slightly. I knew that I was not interested in these thing all other girls worried about. I did not want to learn cooking or sewing. I wanted to read and lead my own life. Not be the wife of some stranger my parents had chosen for me. "You are really unique, Esme." I heard Carlisle __say. I smiled. Everyone else always told me my behaviour was not proper or not ladylike. Only Carlisle liked it. _

"_And you are flattering." I mumbled too low for him to hear. Just then Carlisle coughed but somehow I had the strange inkling he heard what I said though I knew he couldn't. I looked worried at him. _

"_I told you, you will get cold!" I instantly shrugged out of his jacket and wanted to give it back to him but he stopped me. "No. It is alright, really. What about we just continue our little walk?"__ Carlisle suggested. I nodded. "Well, walk at least for you…" I muttered. "I am just sitting here, being wheeled around." I really hated it that I was dependant on everyone. I felt so helpless. "You will be alright soon. In a few weeks the cast will be taken off and you can do everything you like again – even climbing trees." Carlisle cheered me up. I had to smile at these words. "Yes." I whispered. _

_I enjoyed being outside with Carlisle. We talked about a lot of different things and I felt like I could tell him anything. He never judged me. He just listened and respected my opinion. After some time though I became tired. I tried to hide the yawn. I did not want to go back to bed just yet. But Carlisle saw it nonetheless. _

"_You are tired. I will take you back inside." He said gently. I opened my mouth to protest. "No, I am not tired. Reawwy." I should have kept my mouth shut as I had to yawn loudly. Carlisle chuckled at my poor act. "Of course." He said still smiling. _

"_Come on. You need sleep, your leg will hear faster, if you sleep properly." He explained to me. I pouted at that. Of course I wanted my leg to heal but I also wanted to spent more time outside with him. But he already pushed the wheelchair towards the hospital. When we passed the reception the nurse glared at us. I blushed a deep red, suddenly aware of the fact that I still wore Carlisle's coat. __As soon as Carlisle closed the door to my room I looked apologetically at him. _

"_I hope you didn't get yourself into trouble." I said. "No, why?" he asked rather surprised. Had he really not seen the look on the nurse's face? He must have noticed. "Well, this nurse didn't seem pleased." I said carefully. Carlisle laughed lightly. _

"_No, but I will survive it. She is probably just upset to work the night shift." He told me. I doubted that but didn't say anything else. I just nodded thoughtful. Carlisle winked reassuringly at me before he helped me out of the wheelchair and sat me down on the bed. After that he __left the room to let me change my clothes again. _

_I changed as quickly as possible and wondered if Carlisle would come in again. I still had his coat. He would come to take it back, but would I still be awake? I hoped so. The minutes passed by and I started to get really sleepy. __Just as I thought I couldn't keep my eyes open for much longer the door opened. _

"_I began to think you wouldn't come again." I mumbled. Carlisle smiled. "Of course I do. I just got delayed." He replied. I looked down at the jacket in my hands. "Well, I think you want this back…" I said lowly. I half wished he would say no. Though I knew he neither would nor could do that. But the jacket smelled so good. I wanted to keep this little part of him. _

"_Yes, thank you." Carlisle took the coat from my hands and smiled. I returned the smile. "Good night, Esme." He wished. I nodded. "Thank you. What will you do for the rest of the night?" I asked him. "Well, I actually will also rest a little bit, too. I was asked to work the morning shift tomorrow. A colleague is ill." He told me. As he said that instantly felt bad for keeping him up so long. He must already be very tired according to the circles under his eyes. _

"_Oh, then sleep well, I think. I hope you can get rest. It must be hard to work so long without sleeping properly." I said sheepishly. I felt like I was the reason he had gotten not enough sleep. He always spent big parts of his night-shift with me. _

"_Eh, well, it is alright… I will be able to release you tomorrow and do the final examination and that's a quite pleasant thought." He told me and I blushed lightly. This thought was really a good one. Carlisle winked at me and then he left the room. I cuddled into the pillows and smiled happily. At least I would see Carlisle again before I got home. I could not stand another examination by the awful Dr Chandler. With the image of Carlisle in my mind I drifted off to sleep…_

**You liked it? Hated it? Tell me! Criticism is appreciated! **


	9. Chapter 9

**_well, first of all I want to say that I am truly really sorry for taking so long to update... I know I'm saying that all the time but my days just seem to have too few hours... I'm busy with university, finals are approaching fast and I can't find time to write... I really hate that, but I can't change it... well, I hope you understand... I would love to write more often and update faster but I simply can't manage it... I'm trying again for the next chapters, but I can't make anypromises I fear... Sorry, again... _**

**_Well, here are two more chapters for you! I hope you enjoy them and leave a review for me! Things are getting close to the end... I'm currently working on teh Epilogue now which is already very, very long but good according to my friends... I thought about making a sequel since I like writing the epilogue so much... tell me what you think about it? would you like a sequel? _**

**_But now to the story: Have fun! _**

**CHAPTER 9: ****Mia Cantante – Carlisle's POV**

_I lay on the little couch in my office and watched the sky changing its colour – from a dark blackish-blue to a shade of ultramarine finally to azure. Then the sun rose and coloured the overcast sky in shades of deep orange, red and purple. __The night had been extraordinary quiet. No patients at all. I sighed. In a few hours I would release Esme from the hospital and never see her again. The same night I would move to Chicago where I needed to hunt along the way. My eyes were far darker than I usually would let them get. Outside in the hall the nurses were arriving for the early shift. I rose from the couch and sat down in my office chair. I still had some paperwork I could work on._

_Filling out the patient's file wasn't a job that kept me occupied. My memory was flawless and it didn't take much of an effort to remember the treatments I had given my patients. So, my mind drifted off… It was dangerous what I had been doing these past days… far too dangerous… I used to be sensible and responsible but __these qualities somehow vanished when a certain young girl came to the hospital… Being near Esme, talking to her made me feel so human… I no longer felt that ache of loneliness then… but I felt it a hundred times worse when I was away from her… like my still heart was bleeding… Nonetheless I couldn't be so selfish to make her one of my own kind… she deserved a life, to be happy, to grow up and see the world, maybe marry, have children, have a real life… all the things someone like me couldn't give her… _

_Outside the world changed slowly. It was time for the people to get up and go to work. The streets and sidewalks filled with pedestrians. I heard the carts on the streets and the horses and the few automobiles some wealthy families owned. _

_Another hour or two passed without anything happening, leaving me to think. Around 9 am a nurse finally knocked on my office door. "Dr Cullen, Mr and Mrs Platt are here for her daughter.__ I already put young Ms Platt in exam room 3." She said. "Yes, eh… I'm coming." I said and followed the nurse into the hallway. Esme's mother who I had met briefly when her daughter was admitted to the hospital stood next to a stern looking man. He was well built and had an air of authority around him. Well, I was not intimidated by it. I went over to greet them. "Good Morning, Mr and Mrs Platt." I said and shook their hands. "My name is doctor Cullen, your daughter is one of my patients." _–my favorit one – _I added in my head and smiled. "Well, good morning, Dr." Mr Platt said. "I will have to do a final check up on your daughter before she can be released from the hospital. And I need you to fill out some paperwork." "Yes, would you please follow me, Mr and Mrs Platt…" the nurse asked and led them over to her desk were some forms waited for them to be filled. I sighed lowly and went over to the exam room, happy to be able to spent this last minutes alone with Esme. _

_I knocked on the door before I stepped in. Esme was sitting on the exam table, waiting for me. She looked a little tired but perfectly happy. "Hello!" she greeted me. I smiled. "Good morning. How have you slept? Not to good according to the circles under your eyes…" I remarked and sat down on the stool in front of her. She blushed a little. "Is it that obvious?" she asked. I smiled. "No, it's just because I know how you spent parts of your night, I guess…" I reassured her. "Well, you look far worse." She stated. "Haven't you slept at all?" Her eyes were fixed to my face. I knew that I had dark circles under them, but they weren't there for any lack of sleep. I needed to hunt. My throat was itching constantly and being this close to Esme made me want to scoop her up in my arms and press her close to my body, just to inhale her scent. I could never harm her. "A little." I whispered, not meeting her gaze and instead trying to focus back on the examination I had to do. _

_Suddenly I felt something touch my face and I froze. Esme's fingers were tracing the circle under my left eye like she could erase the mark with her fingers. "You should sleep. You must be terribly tired." She said lowly and stroked my cheek. I froze under her touch. My instincts were screaming at me to flinch back from her, to not let her touch me but I couldn't. Her warm hands sent a warm sensation through my body. I enjoyed her touching me. I closed my eyes for a short moment, focusing on that moment to keep for eternity. The feeling of her soft fingers, the warmth spreading through my body, her sweet scent surrounding me… _

_I snapped out of it. My eyes shot open again which caused Esme to take her hand away. The room was filled with an awkward silence. I coughed nervously. Strange. I've never been nervous. With all the will power I had left I concentrated on my task. Checking Esme's leg. "Well, I will have to take a look at the cast…" I murmured. "Go ahead." Esme just said. _

_I was asking her a few questions about how she felt and then checked on the cast. It seemed fine, no cracks or anything. "Well, everything seems good to me." I told her. "Your leg will be fine in about six weeks. Until then I recommend you to keep it elevated, don't walk to much and only on crutches. In six weeks you should get back to the hospital to have the cast removed. You'll still have to use the crutches for a while then because the muscles in your leg degenerate if not used but you will be fine afterwards. Ready to climb trees again, just promise me to not fall out a second time." I winked at her. Esme bit her lip and blushed a little. "Thank you." She whispered. __"Will you remove it?" she asked. I looked up. "Sorry?" I didn't know what she meant. "The cast. I wondered if you will be the one who removes it…" she explained. I sighed and shook my head. "No, I am leaving…" I answered. Esme stared at me. "Leaving?" she echoed hoarsely. I nodded. "Yes… I got an offer from a hospital in Chicago…" I replied lowly. Esme looked away. "You didn't tell me…" she murmured. Instantly I felt guilty. "I am sorry, really. I guess I just didn't want to think of it… spoil our time together…" _What was I saying? Our time together?! _"I really enjoyed talking to you…" I said. "Why are you leaving?" Esme asked me. I hated lying to her but I couldn't tell her the truth… "Well, it's a great chance for a young doctor like me…" I said. She nodded. "I guess it is, good luck then." She wished me. I smiled sad. "Thank you."_

"_Well, I think it is goodbye now…" I started though I hated to do so. I didn't want to leave her. "Yes." she agreed lowly. "Goodbye Carlisle." She said in a raspy voice. "Goodybe, Esme." I said her name once again, willing to remember it forever which wasn't exactly difficult. I would never forget her. Our eyes locked and I felt a strange course of connection between us. We looked at each other. I could see the same sadness in her eyes, I also felt. I stared at her for the last time and etched every of her features in my memory. Her dark brown eyes, her kind, heart-shaped face, the soft caramel curls framing it. My gaze lingered on her lips and a wave of completely strange feelings washed over me. I felt like I was a metal piece, drawn to a magnet. I heard Esme's breathing stop. I let her scent wash over me, inhaling it. I felt the strange urge to lean closer to her, but before I could do something really stupid I stood up – a bit too fast probably because Esme flinched startled. "Sorry, I thought I heard something…" I muttered. Esme nodded. "Well, Esme I wish you all the best… I am sure you will become a wonderful woman and a great teacher." She smiled shyly and blushed. "Good luck in Chicago." She replied before she leaned on her crutches and stood up._

_We turned to the door, but then Esme stopped again. "I still have your books…" she remembered. I smiled warmly at her. "Keep them." I told her. I simply wanted her to keep something of me. Some little part so she wouldn't forget me, like I kept her memory. "What? Really?" she asked. I nodded. "But promise me not to break more bones when reading them in the trees." Esme blushed a little and smiled. "promised." She said as she turned towards me. A strand of her curls waved past my face and sent her intoxicating scent in my direction. I swallowed hard when my throat burned uncomfortable, but there was something else. I didn't want to kill her, I wanted something else entirely. It was strange and unknown to me. _

_I was so consumed with my thoughts, that I didn't notice anything until I felt __Esme threw her arms around my waist. I had never been this close to a person before, especially no human and surely no woman. I could feel the warmth of her body on my cold skin. A strange feeling. My kind was usually scary to humans and here I was with a beautiful young woman clinging to me. I put my arms around her and held her close for a second. It felt so good, so _right_ to hold her. _

_Then I slowly released her from my embrace. "Goodbye… Esme." For the very last time I said her name. "Goodbye… Carlisle Cullen…" she replied. I couldn't help it and smiled, my name sounded wonderful when she said it. I gave the crutches back to her and then opened the door to the corridor. _

_Esme's mother and father stood up from their seats. "Well, I am sorry the examination took a little longer, but it seemed like there was a crack in the cast, but it is fine. Your daughter should return in six weeks, Mr Platt, to get the cast removed. Until then she should not walk too much and keep her leg elevated and cooled if necessary." I explained smiling. "Thank you, doctor." Mr Platt said and shook my hand. He, just like his wife, flinched from my touch. Mrs Platt just smiled. But Esme turned to me again. "Yes, thank you Dr Cullen." She said. I nodded, suddenly feeling a lump in my throat. She was leaving. Reality hit me like a wrecking ball. I would never see her again. "Goodbye, come Esme." Mr Platt put his arm around her shoulders and led her away. Just before they vanished round the corner Esme turned again and smiled. I winked at her. "Bye, bye _mia cantante_." I whispered lowly before I went back into my office. _

Mia cantante_ that was what Esme was for me. I just realised that. That and maybe more. When I had lived in Italy Aro had talked about _singers_, people whose blood sang for a special vampire. That meant it was almost irresistible to them. Like Esme's smell was for me, who was almost immune to the smell of blood… _

_**okay, another chapter waits for you... I hope you liked this one... please leave me a review... they make my day... **_


	10. Chapter 10

_**here's the second chapter then... have fun! **_

**CHAPTER 10: Parting Ways – Esme's POV**

_I lay in my bed and though I was tired sleep wouldn't come back. I had dreamed about Carlisle. It was a good dream at first, but then it changed. Carlisle and me were walking through a park, talking, like we did this evening, but then suddenly Carlisle said he had to go. He left me in the middle of the forest, all alone. I woke up and tried to calm my frantically beating heart. But then I realized part of the dream was true. I would be released in the morning and never see him again. After coming to that really heartbreaking conclusion it was impossible for me to fall asleep again. I spent the rest of the night listening to the sounds outside, half hoping he would peek inside to check if everything was alright. But I knew better. He was trying to catch some sleep, as he said earlier. And also, why would he come inside my room in the middle of the night? We were friends, kind of, but he surely didn't feel this exaggerated kind of affection I felt for him. He was 12 years older than me. A grown man to whom I was only a girl. A girl that he was nice to and cared for, like a friend did, but nothing more. _

_I watched the sky change it's colour. Slowly the twinkling stars faded and the dark blue lightened to azure. In the east a faint trace of the morning light could be seen. I watched the sun rise outside. _

_Finally a nurse came inside to bring me breakfast and inform me that I had my final examination scheduled for 9 am. I took my time eating the breakfast though it didn't really taste good. I just wanted time to pass and because I had nothing to do I ate slower than usual. _

_At 8 am another nurse came into my room to help me change into a skirt and a dark blue pullover. She also packed my bag for me because it would have taken me hours by myself and my parents hadn't arrived yet. I was very grateful for that, because I so also had some company. _

_Carlisle's books were still lying on the nightstand but I put them in a smaller bag which only contained my personal belongings. I would have to give the books back to Carlisle and therefore I kept them in the smaller back with me and not in my travelling bag. _

_Finally I was wheeled into the exam room and got onto the table. And then I waited. I didn't even know if my parents had arrived, I hadn't seen them. _

_I then heard some talking outside in the hallway. I recognised Carlisle's soft voice and the deep rumbling of my father. Just a minute later it knocked on the door and Carlisle stepped inside. _

"_Hello!" I said and smiled at him. "Good morning!" he replied. "How have you slept? Not too good according to the circles under your eyes…" I looked down and blushed. "Is it that obvious?" I asked him. "No, it's just because I know how you spent part of your night, I guess…" he assured me. I smiled at him and suddenly noticed the black circles under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept for days. And he was worried about me? "Well, you look far worse." I said simply, only afterwards realising it was quite impolite. "Haven't you slept at all?" I wanted to know. He really looked bad, almost ill with the pale skin. And this weren't just dark circles under his eyes, they looked more like bruises, according to the colour. "A little." He murmured but was avoiding my gaze which made me think Carlisle was lying. I felt sorry for him. It must be hard to work as a doctor, especially when you worked the night shifts and then also had to do a double shift. He had to be tired. _

_I didn't really register what I was doing until I felt my fingers touch his face. I knew what I was doing was completely wrong but I couldn't draw my hand back. His skin was smooth, but also hard and cold. I wasn't bothered by the coldness but it surely felt strange. My fingers traced the circle under his left eye, wishing to erase the mark the lack of sleep had left. "You should sleep. You must be terribly tired." I murmured and cupped his cheek. Carlisle closed his eyes as of relishing in the feeling of my hand on his skin. It felt so good touching him. I didn't know where this boldness was coming from. I would have never gone so far under normal circumstances, but this was different. I felt drawn to Carlisle like a moth to the light. The closeness of even touching him sent a shiver down my spine. _

_Suddenly Carlisle's eyes hot open and I quickly pulled ma hand back. He startled me a little. An awkward silence stretched between us. Carlisle must have felt it to, because he coughed nervously and then said: "Well, I will have to take a look at the cast…" "Go ahead." I murmured unintelligible and felt foolish just after the words left my mouth. _

_Carlisle seemed to be completely in his doctor-mode now. His playfulness and the personality we had shared was gone. He asked a few question about my condition but didn't make small-talk like usual. Had I maybe done something? Had I gone too far by touching him and now he was all professional to show me my mistake? Had I maybe destroyed or companionship with one foolish action? _

"_Well, everything seems good to me." Carlisle said after he had examined the cast carefully. "Your leg will be fine in about six weeks. Until then I recommend you to keep it elevated, don't walk to much and only on crutches. In six weeks you should get back to the hospital to have the cast removed…" He rambled on in his professional tone but I did not really listen. This was not the Carlisle I got to know these last days "…ready to climb trees again, just promise me to not fall out a second time." He added in a playful voice and as I looked surprised up he winked. I bit my lip and blushed a little. The Carlisle I knew was back. His smile and playful tone mad eme instantly happy. _

_Suddenly I remembered something he had said. "Will you remove it?" I asked. Carlisle looked up at me, a bit puzzled. "Sorry?" he asked. "The cast. I wondered if you will be the one who removes it…" I explained to him. I knew instantly that I had hit a wound spot. Carlisle sighed and looked down, shaking his head slowly. "No, I am leaving…" he mumbled. _

_I stared at him. Speechless. He had never said anything like that before. Why would he leave? "Leaving?" I echoed, shocked and sad. Carlisle nodded. "Yes… I got an offer from a hospital in Chicago…" he said. __I looked away. I had to admit that I was a little hurt. I thought he trusted me, or that we were friends on some level. Had he lied with other things too? "You didn't tell me…" I murmured hurt. "I am sorry, really." Carlisle explained and looked at me. "I guess I just didn't want to think of it… spoil our time together…" he explained. _Our time together? _My heart probably skipped a beat out of happiness. "I really enjoyed talking to you…" Carlisle went on. I smiled. I hadn't imagined things. "Why are you leaving?" I asked Carlisle. I couldn't really imagine why he would want to leave. I always got the impression he was happy here. That he enjoyed his work. "Well, it's a great chance for a young doctor like me…" he replied. I nodded. Carlisle was probably right. He was young and if he got a job offer which would help him in his career he would of course accept it. Carlisle had no wife and family so it wouldn't matter too much where he lived. "I guess it is, good luck then." I wished him but couldn't completely ban the hint of sadness in my voice. Carlisle smiled sadly. "Thank you." _

"_Well, I think it is goodbye now…" Carlisle started slowly. I sighed inwardly. I didn't want to leave. Everyone else would be happy to get out of the hospital, but not me, at least not under these special circumstances. I had enjoyed these last days so much. Carlisle listened to me and what I wanted. He wasn't like other people I knew. __"Yes." I agreed very lowly. A lump was forming in my throat, making it hard to speak. "Goodbye Carlisle." I whispered. "Goodybe, Esme." He replied. Carlisle looked me in the eyes and I felt my heart beating faster. We stared at each other and time seemed to stop. I looked at Carlisle wanting to remember this moment forever. His pale skin, the face like that of a marble statue, his eyes which were always shining with love and compassion, the silky blond hair. I watched how Carlisle became completely still, staring at my lips. My breathing stopped. I must be dreaming this, because it couldn't be possible that Carlisle wanted to… maybe… _

_Suddenly Carlisle jumped from his chair. He startled me and I flinched. "Sorry, I thought I heard something…" he muttered apologetically. I nodded. _

_Carlisle smiled down at. "Well, Esme I wish you all the best… I am sure you will become a wonderful woman and a great teacher." He said. I smiled. Carlisle was actually the first one who was supportive of my dream. Everyone else just told me to stop being childish, that I would marry and keep the house and care for the children, not teaching at school. I felt myself blushing at his compliment and nodded shyly. "Good luck in Chicago." I mumbled and leaned on my crutches to stand up. _

_I slowly turned to the door but then stopped dead in my tracks. His books! "I still have your books…" I said looking at Carlisle. He smiled. "Keep them." I blinked. "What?" For a moment I thought my ears had played some trick on me but when I saw Carlisle smile at me I knew what I heard was true. "Really?" My whole face lit up. I would keep these books like the treasure they were. Something to remind me of these days with him forever… "But promise me not to break more bones when reading them in the trees." Carlisle added with a wink. I blushed again. "Promised." I whispered and turned towards him. I needed to thank him for this gift. _

_But as I stood in front of him all logical thoughts left me. I didn't know where this boldness was coming from, probably the knowledge of never __seeing him again but I threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. What I hadn't counted on was that once I was so close to him I didn't want to let go ever again. His stone hard body and coldness wasn't bothering me. I held him tighter, inhaling his scent and enjoying the feeling of his body so close to mine. Carlisle put his arms around me and held me for a short while, before he stepped out of my embrace. "Goodbye… Esme." He said slowly, sounding strangely hoarse. "Goodbye… Carlisle Cullen…" I replied and looked up at him. Carlisle smiled. He handed me my crutches back and then opened the door for me. _

_My parents stood up from two chairs as I hobbled outside of the exam room. My father immediately put his arm around my shoulders in a protective way. I sighed inwardly. "Well, I am sorry the examination took a little longer, but it seemed like there was a crack in the cast, but it is fine. Your daughter should return in six weeks, Mr Platt, to get the cast removed. Until then she should not walk too much and keep her leg elevated and cooled if necessary." Carlisle explained to him, being polite as ever. "Thank you, doctor." My father said and shook his hand. __I noticed he flinched from the cold touch of Carlisle's hands. My mother only nodded. She was silent, as always in the presence of my father. _

"_Goodbye, come Esme." My father used his arm on my shoulder to lead me away… I was forced to look straight __ahead. Just before we turned around the corner I broke the grip of my father and looked back. Carlisle stood still in the hallway, looking at me. I smiled at him. He looked so sad. As he saw me smile at him he winked. "Bye, bye Carlisle…" I whispered under my breath. _

_My father squeezed my shoulders a bit harder and __I had to follow him outside. Leaving the best days of my life behind… _

**_so, I hope you liked it but even if you didn't tell me! I want your reviews! _**

**_And again I would like to know if you are interested in a sequel... tell me! _**

**_PS: for my other story "missing moments" I'm working hard on a chapter (part II of Renesmee with the baby formula this time) but I don't have much time... I can't promise anything but I try to post it before sunday... I hope you stick with me and aren't too mad! xD  
_**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, here's the first of the two last chapters of this story... but there's a nice and really long epilogue coming soon... I hope you enjoy these last chapters! Have fun! **

**CHAPTER 1****1: Missing – Carlisle's POV**

_I stood in the hallway long after Esme was gone. I was totally confused and went in my office to clear my head, but it didn't work.__ My soul already yearned for her. I felt lonelier than I had ever felt in the almost 250 years of my existence. I paced up and down for about an hour before I came to the conclusion that I couldn't stay here. I needed to go, now. I left my office and went to the front desk. "Dr Cullen, how can I help you?" the nurse asked. "Actually, I was wondering if I might go home… I know I am replacing Dr Snow, but I have a terrible headache and nothing is working… I already took some pills…" The nurse smiled sympathetically. "I think it is possible… I will make a few calls and let you know…" she said. I nodded. "Thank you. I'm doing a check up on the patients in the meanwhile…" I needed to take my mind off of Esme, distract me somehow… even if it would most likely not work. _

_I had just finished my rounds on the patients when I was called to the front desk. "Ah, Dr Cullen, Dr Miller just arrived, you can go home now." The nurse told me smiling. I shot her a grateful smile and hurried towards my office. There I packed my last belongings and left after a few minutes. This would have been my last day here anyway. The nurses said their goodbyes to me and wished me good luck and then I was gone. _

_When I arrived in my little house I quickly realised that I couldn't stay there either. I needed to get far away from here and that quickly. Too many memories were running through my head right now. I could not stay here if I wanted to keep my sanity. While I knew that there had been no chance of having Esme for myself a selfish part of me still told me that I shouldn't have let her go. This part of me wanted terribly to be with her, no matter what. I had never known such feelings and was utterly confused by them. I got even more confused when I thought of what desires overwhelmed me in these last minutes in the exam room… _

_My original plans were that I would stay here until all my stuff, which wasn't much, was brought to my new house in Chicago but now I tumbled them over. I would leave today. As soon as possible. My most precious possessions, like my paintings, the cross of my father and my most favourite books had I already brought to Chicago myself. The remaining things could be sent after me. _

_I put everything in boxes and stacked them in the hallway. It only were three cartons, two containing books, one the clothes I hadn't yet brought to my new house. After that was finished and the house empty except for the furniture I changed into more comfortable clothes, black pants, a white shirt and a dark pullover over it. Then I took my coat, wound a scarf around my neck and left. _

_I was running through the woods towards Chicago, carefully avoiding civilisation. I didn't take a direct route. I needed to run, to clear my head and distract myself. I wasn't hunting yet. I was only running; running, running, running. Trying to get a grip on my feelings again. I was still so confused and only a step away from running back to Columbus. _

_I spent the whole night running through the woods. I hunted until my eyes the lightest shade of gold, but I was still not satisfied. It was not the blood I craved. I craved company. I craved Esme. Her loving nature, her honesty, her closeness, the way she made me laugh, her laugh… _

_I sank down on the forest floor and leaned my back against a tree. I felt lonelier than ever before. My __still heart was aching. _

_I stood up again, shaking my head. What was wrong with me? I used to be calm, collected and sensible! I was none of this anymore. I was confused, torn and terribly lonely. I took a shaky breath. I needed to __get a grip on myself. If I was continuing with this torment I would go crazy. I forced myself to stop mourning, after all I did the right thing. Esme would grow up to be a beautiful, pretty lady and find a loving man who cared for her. They would marry and have kids and lead a happy life. _


	12. Chapter 12

**The second and last one... I hope you enjoy it... tell me what you think! **

**CHAPTER 1****2: Lost – Esme's POV**

_On the way home my parents were asking me a few questions about the stay in the hospital. I answered every single one without any emotion showing. I also didn't say a word about Carlisle. I wasn't stupid. _

_At home the first thing I did in the privacy of my room was to hide Carlisle's books under a loose plank in the wooden floor. Then I wanted to lie down on my bed and just not move again. I felt terrible. My leg was fine, but my heart wasn't. It was bleeding. __Unfortunately my mother was with me the whole afternoon. She was looking after me like I was going to die every moment. I only had a broken leg and with the crutches I could at least hobble around, but no. I was told to sit down, keep the leg high and so spent the whole day in the living room, were my parents desperately tried to make conversation. I even was again scolded for climbing trees. _I hope you have learned from that, young lady! My _father said sternly. I said nothing. The only thing I had learned from my trip to the hospital was, that not all people were as conservative as my parents. Some, well one in particular, had nothing against climbing trees, or wanting to become a teacher, going to college as a girl. _

_The evening finally came and after dinner I faked that I was tired and went to bed immediately. There I was then, alone, staring out the window at the dark sky. The stars twinkled and I was reminded of the night when Carlisle had taken me out to the park. I smiled at the memory. I remembered the scent that clung to his coat. I would never forget it, nor the beautiful topaz eyes he had, his clear laugh, like bells, his perfect manners and his honesty, the way he made me laugh… _

_My room seemed cold and empty. I was lying in my bed willing the door to open and him to step inside, to spend another night chatting and laughing with me. But no one came… I felt the tears rise up in my eyes. I missed him so terrible. No one had ever cared for who I was so much. I had never felt so special in my whole life and had a feeling I never would again… _

_The next days I was simply moping around the house. Staying in my room as much as I could. I wasn't sleeping very well. Every night I wished that he would appear out of nowhere in my room. But it never happened. _

_I was reading the books Carlisle had given to me over and over again, in the depths of the nights, so no one noticed and one day I found something in his neat handwriting written on the bottom of the last page: _

"There are many things in life that will catch your eye. But only a few will catch your heart..." B. Crenshaw

_I smiled. __I knew that these few days in the hospital belonged to the latter ones. Carlisle had surely caught my heart, not only my eye… _

**Okay, I hope you liked it and please tell me what you think!!! The epilogue is coming soon and then it's over but if you liked it so far, tell me if you want a sequel... I'm doing one if I get enough reviews! **


	13. Epilogue

_**Okay, here it comes... the epilogue! the story has come to an end... I hope you all liked it and will also like the epilogue... I'm hoping for a lot of reviews, so don't disappoint me! Please! **_

_**I am currently still very busy with finals and will be till 22th february but afterwards everything will get more regular with updates... or so I hope... **_

_**Well, have fun reading now... the epilogue actually got much longer than I thought it would but I couldn't shorten it... there was nothing I was ready to leave out... so sorry if it is really long... ;)  
**_

**EPILOGUE**

"_What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. __The end is where we start from." T.S. Elliot_

_**1921, Ashland, Wisconsin **_

_**Esme's POV **_

I stared at the tiny bundle in my arms. My son. He was so beautiful. His tiny hands and fingers, his cute little face, these round blue eyes which were now closed, forever closed. Another sob rose in my throat but no tears fell. I had cried too much in these last hours. I had no more tears to shed. My son was dead, my only reason to live…

_I had given birth to him only a few days ago. My beautiful baby boy… He was perfect and strong. But then he started to get a fever. I was worried sick and took him to the hospital but I couldn't pay a doctor. I waited for hours while my little boy got weaker and weaker in my arms. I was suffering as much as he was. I saw how he struggled for every breath and I would do everything to ease his suffering but I was powerless. _

_After hours a doctor finally examined my baby but the diagnosis was devastating. He had a lung infection and would probably not make it through the night. I broke down right then. I had nothing else in this life. Only him, my son, my Carl. I had run away from my husband to protect him from a cruel life full of violence and now I realised that I had failed at that also. I had failed at protecting my son. I had no chance to help him. I couldn't pay a doctor or medicine. The doctor told me that even if I had money there would be no way to save my baby but I felt so useless, knowing I could do nothing. I couldn't even try to save him. What kind of mother was I? _

_The doctor took pity on me and took me to a room where I could stay overnight. I held my son in my arms these last hours, telling him stories of my childhood, sang to him, tried to ease his suffering with my love for him. I even told him about the man he was named after. The angel I met when I was sixteen, who I spent the best days of my life with. I didn't know why I chose this name for my son, perhaps because I wished to have something to keep my memories alive or because I wanted to name my son after the best person I had ever met so I could tell him about the doctor and create an idol for him, or perhaps because I secretly wished that this doctor was the father of my boy. _

_With every minute that passed the breaths of my little Carl became more laboured. His breath was ragged and it pierced my heart to hear him suffer. I shed countless tears while I held him and cooed to him, trying to calm him down. It was over before the first rays of sunlight could be seen over the horizon. _

_I held my little one for hours, rocking his dead body in my arms while my body shook with sobs and tears streamed down my face. I cradled him against my body until the nurses came and took him from my arms. I didn't let go easy but the doctor finally managed to get hold of my boy's body. The nurse stayed to comfort me but I wasn't feeling pain anymore. I felt nothing. I was numb. Empty. My only reason for living – gone. I had failed at everything in life. I disappointed my parents as a child, I was a horrible wife and now my child died… I wasn't even capable of being a mother…_

_A nurse was accompanying me home. The doctor was worried and didn't want me to be alone. I didn't object. Nothing mattered anymore. I was just an empty sheath. My soul had died right along with my little boy. __After arriving in my shabby one-room apartment I simply sat down on the bed and stared at the wall, but I didn't see anything. Not really. I didn't even notice how and when the nurse left. I didn't feel anything. I was dead, mentally at least. _

_Outside the day slowly __changed into night and a decision formed in my head. I was alone now, I had no money, nothing to live for… My life was not worth living. I stood up and left the apartment, not even bothering to put on a coat. I wouldn't need it. Not where I was going… _

_I stumbled through the city without seeing anything. Once or twice I bumped into someone, but I didn't look up, I didn't apologise, I just kept going._

_After a while I came to the outskirts of the city and followed a stony path up the hills. The wind ripped at my dress __and I was probably freezing, the sharp stones stabbed into my feet, but I didn't feel any of it. _

_I arrived at the top of the cliffs. Underneath me were razor sharp rocks against which the waves crashed. The sun was just setting in the west. Everything was bathed in a red light. It was perfect. The end of the day would also be the end of her suffering. I stepped closer to the edge, looking down. About 50 feet below me the waves flooded a narrow beach before they crashed against sharp rocks. I stood on the very edge of the cliff and took a shuddering breath. The sun was casting a red light over everything. For one last time I pictured two faces before my eyes – the tiny face of my son and the face of my angel, Carlisle; then I stepped into thin air… _

_**Carlisle's POV**_

_I was arriving for another shift at the hospital and went to the front desk to ask where I should work tonight. "Good evening, Mrs Morel , I just wondered where I should work tonight…" he said smiling. The elder nurse smiled at him. "Ah, yes Dr Cullen, I fear you have to work in the morgue tonight again…" __I gave her a polite smile, after it wasn't her fault I had to work down there. "Well, at least it wouldn't be too stressful there." I sighed lowly and went down into the morgue. I would have preferred a busy night in the emergency room instead of sitting in the morgue all night. It was calm down there and would give me much time to dwell on my thoughts. _

_I did that often lately. I changed Edward three years ago and he was living with me since then. I had grown to love him like a son and we were both grateful for the company. I really enjoyed my life with Edward. __He had adjusted to my life style very well and we were having a good relationship. It was great having someone to talk to and share experiences, but I still felt that there was something missing. At first Edward had been the companion I craved for so long and I was happy to not be alone any more. But I still wanted more._

_I sat down behind the desk and sighed. My mind drifted away. I couldn't place this loneliness. I wasn't lonely, I had Edward, but I wanted a different kind of companion. I yearned for more than simple conversations, but I didn't really know for what… I just knew I felt lonely, terrible lonely. There was a part in my heart that Edward simply couldn't reach. _

_I hated the morgue. It was so silent here and it smelled like death. I knew that the people down here where much closer to me than the living and breathing humans a few floors upstairs. But I felt terrible among the dead. And the loneliness was much more present here. I sighed again and let my mind drift back 10 years._

_I was working in Ashland at that time. One night I was called to treat a broken leg. This leg belonged to the most charming person I had ever met. Esme. She was 16 but acted really mature. I was intrigued by her. She was beautiful, charming, intelligent, humorous and so loving… I spent every minute I could with her and was getting far more attached than I should… _

_I had often wondered what had become of her. She would be 26 now, probably married. I wondered if she had become a teacher. I imagined her in primary school in front of a class of curious children. How she would teach them to write their names or draw with them. I smiled at the image. I could see it clearly in my head__. Her caramel curls framing her face when she bent over her pupil's work to check it, her smile. I wondered if she had kids… A little girl perhaps, a perfect copy of her beautiful self, with little caramel curls running around in a garden, climbing trees… or a boy… for some odd reason I could only picture a boy with blond hair who ran around a house and explored everything… But still, the image made me smile. I knew Esme would be a wonderful mother… _

_The sound of a stretcher being wheeled down the corridor ripped me out of my thoughts. I stood up. The smell of blood, lots of blood, hung into the air. I heard some doctors talking. _She's not going to make it… No use of trying… _I was disgusted by their talk. How could they give up on a life so easy? As doctors we have taken an oath to fight for every life. As I opened the door to the hallway I was hit by an intoxicating scent like a wrecking ball. I stumbled backwards. My knees were suddenly weak. I knew this scent. I would never forget it. Esme. Fear hit me so hard that I felt as if bile may be rising in my throat. I swallowed. _

"_Ah, Dr Cullen, we got someone for you... dead… jumped off a cliff…suicide…" One of my colleagues said as if it doesn't matter. A sudden wave of anger came over me. I wanted to rip the head of this doctor off who refused to fight for her life. I could hear her heart beating. It was weak but it was beating. Hope filled me. Her heart was still beating. She was still alive…_

_I clenched my jaw and tried to get a hold on myself. "Dr Lewis, I take it from here." I said in an icy voice and nearly shoved him away from Esme's body on the stretcher. __He backed away, shooting me frightened and confused glances. I ignored him and dismissed him rather impolite, but I only had one thing on my mind – Esme. _

_Every fibre in my body was focussed on her weakening heart beat as I wheeled her inside the morgue. I closed the door behind me and ran back to Esme. Very slowly I lifted the thin sheet that covered her from her face. "Oh Esme…" I whispered hoarsely as I saw her. She was even more beautiful as when I last saw her. She had grown into a stunning woman, even now with her body mangled and bloodstained she was breathtaking. _

_I slowly bent down to take a closer look at her. Her auburn hair was wet and caked with blood, she had a large gash over her right temple and probably also broken her jaw. I continued my examination, endlessly careful pressing on her body. She had multiple fractured ribs, her arms and legs were broken, her spine also, her whole body was covered in bruises… I knew she was beyond anything medicine could fix and this realisation was making my whole body ache in a terrible way. I gasped several times before I was able to regain my composure. My thoughts were running a mile a second. I was almost petrified with all the emotions running through my body. _

_After a few seconds of deep breathing I knew what to do. I could never let Esme die. I couldn't survive without her. Very slowly and gently as not to hurt her more I lifted her up from the stretcher and put the thin cotton sheet around her. With one last glance at everything I left the morgue through a window. _

_I landed outside and looked around. No one was to be seen. Finally it seemed I had a stroke of luck. I started to run. As fast as I had never run before, praying that I wouldn't be too late, willing her heart to continue beating… _

_**Esme's POV**_

_The wind rushed past me. I didn't know what that meant. Was I still falling? I felt the pain coming back. I couldn't pinpoint it. My whole body seemed broken. Every single bone. I could not breathe, it hurt so much. I must have broken my ribs… I felt something cold against my skin. It felt good. It was numbing the pain… I wanted to open my eyes but I couldn't… I could not move any part of my body. Suddenly my position was changed and the pain flamed up again, I yelped, then everything went black… _

_**Carlisle's POV**_

_I had to adjust Esme's position in my arms shortly before we arrived at the small house on the outskirts of town. She shortly woke up from her unconsciousness and yelped. This tiny sound broke my heart even more. "Shh… I'm sorry…__" I soothed her. _

_**Edward's POV **_

_Sounds outside startled me. I stopped playing on my piano and listened. __Carlisle was running towards the house very fast. I recognized his thoughts but I couldn't pick enough to tell me what was going on. He was terribly confused and troubled. All I could see in his mind were images changing so quick I was hardly able to tell what I was seeing. There was the hospital… a young doctor Carlisle didn't like… blood… much blood… a broken body… it was a woman… and some images I knew - a young girl with a pretty heart-shaped face and caramel coloured hair, she had a broken leg… and thousands and thousands of questions plus some phrases which repeated themselves in his mind: _She's not going to make it… No use of trying… jumped off a cliff… suicide… _I tried to block Carlisle's thoughts as they were driving me mad, but only a moment later he bust through the door, holding a body in his arms. _

_The smell hit me at full force and it took me everything to stop breathing and not attack Carlisle right then. He simply rushed past me, not even acknowledging me. I waited a moment upstairs until I followed him curious. _

_**Carlisle's POV**_

_I rus__hed inside and headed upstairs into the guestroom. I gently placed Esme on the soft bed. Her heart was still beating but it got weaker every second. _

_I bent over her, gently brushing the hair from her face. She was beautiful, even now. I took in a shaky breath. My hands brushed along her cheeks, smiling as I remembered how we had laughed together. Very carefully I shoved her collar down a bit__ – in that moment Edward burst through the door. _

"_This is her!" he stated simply, shocked. "Yes…" I whispered. I knew Edward had seen my memories of Esme often in my head. He had most likely seen more than I wanted him to, but I couldn't help it. __ "She will die." He said with a quick glance at her injuries. "I know… but… I could save her…" I whispered. _

"_Carlisle! She jumped! She wanted to die! You can't damn her to this existence!" Edward yelled into my face. I looked at him. _But I can't let her … _I couldn't even think the word. Edward watched me for a long moment before he retreated into the hall and closed the door behind him. _

_I stared after him before a stutter in Esme's heartbeat brought me back to the decision I had to make. Edward was right. She wanted to die… I leaned over her and stroked her face. "Esme…" I whispered hoarsely. "My beautiful Esme…" Suddenly she stirred and her eyes fluttered open. "Esme… can you hear me?" I asked in a breathless whisper. _

_**Esme's POV**_

_I heard a clear voice talking to me. The voice of my angel. I would recognize him everywhere. I heard him calling my name. With all my willpower and my last strength I forced my eyes open. I couldn't see clearly, my eyes were always losing focus but he knew now I was awake. "Esme… can you hear me?" he asked, sounding breathless. I wanted to say something, reassure him, at least nod but I could not. With huge effort I blinked. "Esme… I… __why did you do this to you?" he asked sounding more like crying with every word. "Esme, my Esme… if there was a way, to save you… would you… want…" I struggled to fight the blackness that was creeping back into my mind but I had no strength left. I saw the sad and worried eyes of my angel one last time before I fell into darkness again…_

_**Carlisle's POV **_

_I whim__pered as I saw how Esme lost consciousness again. I knew that she wouldn't wake up again. My breath was short and ragged. I didn't want to make this decision alone. I couldn't. I could never forgive me if she hated me for cursing her into this existence, but I could also not forgive if I let her die… _

_She could not die. I would not survive it. I bent over her and shoved her collar down, revealing her slender neck. I hoped that the tiny flicker of recognition I thought I saw in her eyes would be enough… "Esme… I'm sorry…" I whispered and bent down. I pressed a kiss onto her neck before my razor sharp teeth sliced her skin. _

_Her sweet blood came in contact with my tongue and I sunk my teeth deeper into her flesh. I had done that before but Edward's blood was nothing compared to what I tasted now. I wanted to drink it… all of it… my thirst raged inside me, letting me forget who I was for a short moment. _

_I with drew from Esme, my whole body shaking… I drew in a shaky breath hoping to get control over myself again but again her scent flooded my senses. I sank my teeth into her neck again, harder this time. My hand held her face steady, held her so I could reach her neck better…_

_Suddenly Esme stirred underneath me, a scream full of pain came out of her mouth. This brought me back to reality. I withdrew from her, staring down at what I had done. Shame overwhelmed me and I lowered my head as a sob escaped my lips. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry Esme…" I whispered over and over again. _

_**Esme's POV **_

_Something sliced my neck and lifted the blackness a tiny bit. A huge pain, centred in my neck, shot out through my whole body. Suddenly, just as I thought it __was slowly decreasing I felt it again, more powerful. I tried to get away from it but my head was in a death grip. A scream left my mouth and suddenly the pain was gone. I hear a low voice but didn't understand the words. They sounded sad, though. A warmth was spreading through my neck through my whole body, getting hotter and hotter until it felt like fire was pumping through my veins. The pain I felt before that was nothing to how I felt now. This was excruciating. I screamed again before I passed out from the pain… _

_**Carlisle's POV**_

_Esme was screaming and squirming in pain before my eyes. And I could do nothing against it. In fact I caused it. I gently stroked her face. "I'm so sorry, Esme." I whispered over and over again. _

_After a few minutes of soothing later I noticed again how terrible Esme looked with tattered clothes and blood all over her body. _Edward, could you get me some water and a wash cloth, please?_ I asked in my head. A minute later he appeared in the doorway, holding a bowl with cold water and some towels. "Thank you." I said as I sat down on her bedside again. Very gently I washed the blood off her face and neck. I wanted to do more for her. Get her out of these clothes, wash the rest of her body clean from the blood but I couldn't do this… _

_I knew that I was asking too much of Edward but she couldn't stay in this clothes. "It is alright… I will do it." Edward said from the doorway. I shot him a look full of gratitude. I got up and left the room but Edward called me back as I reached the hall. "Do we have something to change her into?" he asked. I nodded and gestured to the hospital gown that lay on the floor. At least I have been thinking of taking a own with me. Edward nodded. "Okay." _

_**Edward's POV **_

_I watched Carlisle leave as I picked up the hospital gown he had laid down next to the bed. I understood his desire to have her body cleaned but I didn't feel very comfortable doing it either. But I also knew that Carlisle could never do it. _

_I took a pair of scissors to cut the dress she'd worn from her body. Her body was too badly injured to be moved much. I didn't want her in any pain except the burning which I could do nothing against it. And according to Carlisle's anxious and worried thoughts and the feelings I knew he had for this woman he would probably rip my head off if I made her cry. _

_So I gently peeled the dress away from her and washed the blood from her body. I didn't take one single breath the whole time, my throat was burning bad enough already. As I wiped the blood away I found other marks on her body. Injuries that had not been caused by her fateful jump. Scars. She had a lot of them and some looked quite nasty, like the one on her forearm. It was huge, looked like many deep cuts. What happened to her? _

_After I had cleaned her wounds as good as possible I dressed her in the gown, as carefully as I could. She whimpered a few times and begged for the fire to stop but nothing more. After I was finished I called Carlisle back. I knew he was dying to be with her. He didn't want to leave her side. _

_**Carlisle's POV **_

"_Carlisle? I'm done." I heard Edward say. I rushed into the guestroom and knelt down next to Esme's figure, writhing in pain. I stroked her cheek, trying to calm her down. "Fire… it burns…" she whimpered. I bit my lip. I couldn't __bear to see her in pain. "I found some scars on her body…" Edward said lowly. I looked at him. _Scars? What scars?_ I asked him silently. Edward said nothing, he simply pulled the sleeve of her right arm up to show me. I saw the scar. It reminded me of a wound I treated some time ago on a man. I replayed the image on my mind and Edward nodded. "What happened to him?" he asked. _He was hit with a bottle neck._ I replied. Edward nodded thoughtful. "I'm leaving you alone now…" he said after another minute or so. I quickly nodded at him. The smell of blood was still heavy in the air; Edward was probably suffering very much. _

_I sat down at Esme's bedside and held her hand in mine, my thumb rubbing soothing circles over the back. She whimpered and started tossing and turning on the bed. "Shhh… Esme… I'm sorry… I didn't want to hurt you… It will be over soon… I promise…" She moaned in pain and whispered something incoherently. I suffered just as much as her, seeing her lying there writhing in pain… pain I caused. "Esme… I'm so sorry…" I whispered again and bent over her to hold her. She should not move too much, it would only cause more pain. Especially with the injuries she had… _

_**Esme's POV**_

_I was burning. I was on fire. My whole body was burning from the inside. Like fire was pumping through my veins. My body hurt terribly and I couldn't move because every movement caused me further pain. I wanted to scream in pain but the only sounds that left my mouth were tiny whimpers. Suddenly I felt something cold against my skin. It held me in a tight grip so I couldn't move and hurt myself. A soft voice was whispering something, but I couldn't make out the words. But the voice was gentle and soft and this calmed me. I knew this voice from somewhere but I couldn't remember from where… _

_The fire in my veins was getting worse with every heartbeat. I started to struggle against the grip. I wanted to put the flames out. I wanted to make it stop… no matter what. "It burns… fire… put it out…" I muttered over and over again but it was no use. _

_**Carlisle's POV **_

_I held Esme on the mattress but she started to struggle against my grip. She started to mumble again. _Fire… fire… put it out…_ words like that left her mouth. I couldn't stand to see her in pain. Every whimper that left her mouth ripped a little piece of my still heart out. I searched my mind desperately for anything to ease her pain but there was nothing. "I'm sorry… I never meant to hurt you… but I couldn't let you die…" I whispered. I surely imagined it but Esme seemed a little calmer when she heard my voice. It was nonsense of course, she wouldn't even remember me, probably hate me for doing that to her… To distract myself I started to talk to her, tell her about all the things I could think of. Various, unimportant topics._

_**Edward's POV **_

_I was downstairs in the living room and played the piano to distract myself from what was going on upstairs. I knew what effect this woman had over Carlisle. I knew it probably even better than he did, or wanted to admit. What had drawn him to her since their first meeting when she was still a girl. And now it was only __intensified. She was no longer half a girl. She was a full grown woman now. Beautiful even with her body mangled and broken. I knew Carlisle suffered as much as she did. Seeing her in pain was torturing him. And I knew why. I could hear him, whispering to her in his calm voice. It was good what he did. I couldn't make out many of Esme's thoughts, but she was calmer with Carlisle close to her and talking. His voice calmed her and she just felt safe. Even if she didn't know why. She couldn't think straight with the venom in her body and her injuries and the pain but Carlisle's voice and closeness triggered a feeling of safety and love inside her. And it distracted her from the burning. _

_**Esme's POV **_

_I drifted in and out of consciousness. The Burning was excruciating, tormenting my broken body. This was not the death I wanted. Death was supposed to be peaceful and easy. _

_Sometimes the pain seemed to subside a little and I could hear a voice talking to me. I couldn't understand the words but it sounded so calming and gentle that I instantly felt better. I tried to focus on the voice and not on the pain but it was hard to do and I had no strength. So I fell unconscious again… _

_The next time I woke up the voice was still there. I didn't know how much time had passed, the pain in my body hadn't changed a tiny bit. I was still burning, fire was running through my veins but I was too weak to fight it now… I just lay still, cramping now and then when it became too much to bear, whimpering, but not screaming anymore. I didn't know why, probably because I was all broken and suffering so much, but as long as I could her the quiet whispering around me I felt safe, like someone cared for me and everything would be alright. It was just a phantasm but it helped a little… _

_**Carlisle's POV**_

_As I was talking and the hours ticked by Esme stopped to scream, instead soft whimpers left her mouth. I rubbed soothing circles on her hand and told her about everything that came to my mind, hoping to distract her somehow. __Her body cramped in pain and every time she moved her body, which had started to heal caused even more pain. She was suffering and it made me suffer, too. I didn't move from her side for one minute, I hardly moved at all. And I never stopped talking. _

_The hours trickled by as if someone had manipulated the clocks. Just as I thought I couldn't stand to see Esme suffer any longer her behaviour changed slowly. Her heart sped up its pace and I knew it would be over soon. _

_**Esme's POV **_

_I felt the pain subside from my fingers and toes but it got even worse in my chest. The pain seemed to center around my heart, which beat fiercely in my chest. I started to squirm and screamed again, but I was stopped from moving by strong arms. "No… stay still… It will be over soon… I promise… just stay still, please…" the gentle voice whispered. I really tried to, but it was so hard. The pain got worse and worse. It was like my I was stabbed with __a white-hot iron. My heart was beating so fast I never thought possible. And then, suddenly, without a warning, it stopped. _

_But I was not dead. I lay still for a moment. Now, with all the pain gone I could hear so much. The soft wind outside, the rustle of the trees, the turning of pages in a book somewhere below me, an even breathing next to me. I was afraid to move, afraid the pain would come back, afraid of what would happen if I opened my eyes…_

_Then I noticed that I didn't have to breathe. I simply didn't need the air. What happened to me? I opened my eyes and wanted to sit up and a second later stopped dead in my actions. How had I moved so fast? I looked around the room. Everything was so much more defined now, the colours brighter and I could see everything… I mean everything. The dust particles in the air, the structure of the wooden floor, every tiny detail… _

_Then I noticed a man standing across the room, next to my bed. He was tall and lean, had blonde hair, pale skin and beautiful eyes in a dark butterscotch. I knew him from somewhere… "Hello Esme… please, don't be afraid…" he whispered and took a careful step towards me. Then it hit me, a fuzzy memory of a doctor I met as a child, only this seemed so far away now, in another life… "Dr-r C-Cullen… Car-lisle…" I whispered very lowly. _

_The End _

_**Okay, so it's over now... I really hope you liked it and if you did, please leave me a few words and tell me if you want a sequel... I am already working on it but I won't post it if I don't get enough reviews... ;) it's up to you now...**_

**_PS: The sequel will be called "A Special World" and will be around Esme's and Carlisle's relationship after her turning... _**


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